More Food For Thought

Was viewing random blogs and I stumbled upon this fable..yeah, I guess you could call it a fable. Found this on http://spittersmusings.blogspot.com/.

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.

He said, "My boy, the fight is between two wolves."


That certainly got the boy's attention.

"One is evil," the old man continued. "Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."

"What of the other, grandfather?" the boy asked.

"The other is good," he said. "Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Compassion and Faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Do we all have such wolves fighting inside us, grandfather?"

"Yes," the wise old man said.

"Then, which wolf wins the fight?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."


Food For Thought.

17 No More

My last few hours as a seventeen-year-old. It's been pretty wild. 17 is the age when I discovered Bronx Bethany. The age when I was part of the cast of Crazy For You. The age when I went on Emmaus. The age when I went on my first March For Life. My first college course. The age where I learned how to praise God. The age when I fell in love with my dream college on the college tour. The age when I applied to that dream college. The age where I was rejected by that dream college. Ah boy. The age when me and Antwi got together with friends to have this awesome bowling party at New Roc. The age where I forgave my betrayers. The age where Luis and I threw a Haiti Benefit. The age when I discovered I want to be a missionary. Age when I met Sandino. Age when I started planning my wedding. Age when I got a cell phone that lasted two months (March and April baby! xD). Age when I got hooked on the Seeker (that show is freaking AMAZING!!! *heart* *heart* *heart*). Age when I insulted Nicky to the point where she moved out. Age when my Afro got super cool. Year when I became known as the Jesus girl. Age when I fell even more in love with Jesus. Age when I became the President of the Gospel Choir, Treasurer of the Student Government, and Secretary of the Band. Age when I read on the announcements at school for the first time. Age when I did Drama Monologue for the first time. I believe even the age when I got my eyebrows threaded for the first time (NEVER AGAIN!). Age when I met Dylan. Age when I got to know Papa P and see how cool he is. Age (part of 16 too) when I made the Chapel my own. Age when I led the singing that one time at the Emmaus mass not many people showed up to. Age when I had/have this crush on this guy who is SO unavailable and SO not right (see a few entries down about that guy who is "permanently off the market" xD). Age when I discovered Gospel For Asia and K.P. Yohannan's powerful story. The age when I tried out for Gospel For Teens. Age when I got into Binghamton. Age when I decided to attempt to wish everyone on Facebook a happy birthday whenever it'd come around. Age when I got a Blogger =D Age when me and Jesus made 2 years. Age when I tried out for the Talent Show and made it. Age when God showed me that I have to desire Him and Him alone. Age when He showed me that a boyfriend is not what I need right now. Age when I saw that there is no one attainable around anyway who is spiritually on my level. Age when I decided "I'm going to do this every year; list the memorable things that happened that year xD. Age when I found Jorden Bac on Facebook after looking at old Xanga blogs. Age when the Band Homeroom was established. Age, perhaps, when I entered the Cardinal Spellman Room (or maybe that was 16?).

Gosh, so much happened in a year! And this year was amazing; I had so many opportunities to do so many things. And the list can go on forever. I feel like it's already really long xD.Ah wow. God, may 18 be just as memorable. The best hasn't even come yet! Ooowee, I wonder what next year's list will be like? It's definitely gonna be long. Aigh, thanks Jesus. Thank You so much. For EVERYthing. ESPECIALLY for dying for me. But that's another story.

Goodbye 17. Hello legality xD

Emotional Pit Of Yuck

There is so much anger in me right now. I'm just UPSET. I mean, not getting into my top school is already enough to deal with. But then having to go to a church that just makes me vex and then to be bugged by my parents with questions they should know the answers to already either because they are obvious or because I've repeated myself so many times, does not help my mood. I am just in an emotional pit of yuck. And it annoys me when I am trying to get over the fact that I did not get into my dream school and I get these lame words that go "blah blah blah blah blah blah something something things will work out blah blah Obama did not go to an IVY League school for his undergraduate education." I am not upset about that! Urgh, I'm going to read this a few months from now probably be like "Oh my gosh, what is/was/whatever wrong with me?" But I am in such a rage! My church home is not catered to my 17-almost-18-year-old teenage needs. I have to put on this face, this mask and I gotta be fake. I HATE IT! And to be in a rage over that on top of something which is really not making your afternoon... April Fools Day is a really bad day to find out what schools accepted you. Me especially. 18th birthday is in 2 days and I feel like CRAP. God, you are gonna have to talk to me extensively. I'm hard-headed, confused, angry, upset, lost, discouraged, all this crap. I don't know where you want me to go. The next best thing, Binghamton, is in the suburbs (YUCK!), I've never been there, I have no idea how I'll get up there-UGH! Whatever!

Aigh. Tears streaming down my face. My dream school. Me no get in. Aigh.

AAAAHHH!!!

I AM SO SCARED!!!!! I am about to check whether or not I have been admitted to the University of Pennsylvania. Jesus PLEASE! I am so scared and so doubtful right now! But You are God. And You know where I am supposed to go. If I do not get into UPenn, it's because You don't want me there. You have bigger things for me. Help me to truly know that God and absolutely trust in Your will for my life. Oh God, help me. I can't say anymore. Please just help me. Amen.