lol.
So I was just reading the last post where I am complaining about how much pain I was in and I'm thinking Wow, I'm a wimp. Jesus went through way crazier! It's really hard to think like that when you are in pain though.
Moreover, I wanted to explain a little bit what I mean about the spiritual discomfort I expressed. I was referring mostly to the stuff about the philosophy class I am taking. And also I guess stuff about the New Student Outreach (NSO) event on Tuesday (-__-). Was not the greatest success. But one guy checked every box on the contact card, so that is truly awesome. Yeah... that is all I really remember, but I'm sure there was more to it than that. This is why documenting details in the moment is so important!
Going to nap now, core meeting at 7. Ttfn!
(Wow, that piece of info. was an unnecessary part of the blog 0_0)
-Salmon out
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Blessed be Your Glorious Name
So it is 1:10 in the AM and I have been in a state of discomfort for the past 2 and a half hours. This semester, I decided that I was going to try my best to get as close to 8 hours of sleep as possible. But that is impossible when your period cramps keep you awake! I mean, I used to be able to go to sleep while still in pain, but it's not happening this time. And I just took medication about 1/2 an hour ago, 2 midols and a 8 oz bottle of water from Jacey. Please kick in faster. It's times like these where I really resent Eve. If she just hadn't eaten the apple from that stupid tree, I wouldn't have to worry about flippin' labor pains. It HURTS! And I wanna sleep!!! I went to bed at 10:47, 10:47!!!! Man Lord, why? Ugh, I can't even concentrate on You when the pain is so great. And I am mad tired, but I just can't sleep! I think this physical pain is a manifestation of my spiritual discomfort at the moment, with all the spiritual challenges I've been hit with lately. I am unsettled and cannot get peace and rest. And then ploop, I have unsettling cramps and cannot sleep. Ahhhh, my iPod has been going forever, how depressing would it be if it died before I fell asleep? Not cool.
Lord Jesus, PLEASE help fall asleep despite these persistent cramps. Help me stick it out and hang onto You despite the pain. Lord help me. And Jesus, please help me stay awake in my 8:30 and 10:05 class tomorrow. Oh my gosh, please bless my efforts and help me to get through my classes and the day, even though I won't get my full 8 hours of rest. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord in the land that is plentiful.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord though I walk through the wilderness.
You give and take away, but my heart will choose to say:
"Lord, blessed be Your Name!"
Blessed be Your Glorious Name.
Lord Jesus, PLEASE help fall asleep despite these persistent cramps. Help me stick it out and hang onto You despite the pain. Lord help me. And Jesus, please help me stay awake in my 8:30 and 10:05 class tomorrow. Oh my gosh, please bless my efforts and help me to get through my classes and the day, even though I won't get my full 8 hours of rest. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord in the land that is plentiful.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord though I walk through the wilderness.
You give and take away, but my heart will choose to say:
"Lord, blessed be Your Name!"
Blessed be Your Glorious Name.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
You are the Truth, You are the Life, You are the Way
Ugh, I hate feeling this way. So conflicted!
So this week is the first week of classes. Yesterday I had Sociology 100B and Psych 112 (Psych Lab). They weren't bad. At 8:30 this morning, I had Psych 243 which is Psych Stats. They were not bad at all, I actually really like my classes. Except for Intro to Asian Philosophy. My God is that class spiritually upsetting! I sit in this class and I am hearing the views of these other philosophers, things like "God is the deepest part of the self... God is who you, and everybody else, really are."
WHAT???!!!
It is spiritually repulsive. I do not like sitting in that class at all. And then I see the people in my class, listening intently and possessing faces of interest. At what level of interest, I suppose they vary. Some looking for a philosophy to follow, some adamant about their own beliefs (me), others just wanting to learn about Asian philosophy, and others just wanting to learn about their culture/own philosophical beliefs in this course. Ah boy, I do not know if I can take this class. So many questions arise such as "Is there merit to what they believe? These are philosophies that existed before Jesus even came to Earth. How can there be blame that they came up with these thoughts of God when there was no knowledge of the Hebrew God presented to them?" Or "Am I a Christian just because Christianity is all that was presented before me in my life?" I do not want to follow Christ because He is all I know or because other people follow Him. That is not at all a basis to do anything. There is no thinking for the self in that situation. But then, just because Christianity is the only way of life that I have been exposed to does not mean that it is not the truth. That is a silly notion. But I bring this latter question up because I just want to be rooted in my faith not on the basis that many others believe or because it's all I've known. That is shallow and narrow. I want to fear Jesus Christ because He is the Right Way, because He is the Truth, because there is True Life in Him. I want to fear Jesus because He is the only way to GOD (defined as the Creator of the Universe--- not as an ant -____-). HALLELUJAH. Praise Yahweh! Please help me Lord. Keep me FIRM and STEADFAST in You. Give me boldness and strength. EMPOWER me Holy Spirit! Holy, HOLY Spirit, for that is what You are! HOLY!
Into MARVELOUS LIGHT! I'm running!
Out of Darkness! Out of Shame!
By the CROSS YOU are the TRUTH!
You are the LIFE!
You are the WAY!
Hallelujah to the King of Kings!
Hallelujah to the Lamb!
Hallelujah to the Lord of Lords!
He is the GREAT I AM!!!!!
He is our King!
He is our Love!
He our God Who's come to bring us back to Him!
He is the One!
He is JESUS!
Thank You Lord. I want to praise and worship You all of the days of my life. Root me in YOU oh Lord. And may my declaration of Your Lordship not be shallow, but a true and deep knowing of Your Glory, Sovereignty, and Supremacy. I do not now if I will have future doubts or more deep troublings in my spirit, but I pray that You will comfort and encourage me through it all. Oh no, please never let go, through the calm and through the storm, in every high and low. NEVER let go of me Jesus.
Thank You Lord.
So this week is the first week of classes. Yesterday I had Sociology 100B and Psych 112 (Psych Lab). They weren't bad. At 8:30 this morning, I had Psych 243 which is Psych Stats. They were not bad at all, I actually really like my classes. Except for Intro to Asian Philosophy. My God is that class spiritually upsetting! I sit in this class and I am hearing the views of these other philosophers, things like "God is the deepest part of the self... God is who you, and everybody else, really are."
WHAT???!!!
It is spiritually repulsive. I do not like sitting in that class at all. And then I see the people in my class, listening intently and possessing faces of interest. At what level of interest, I suppose they vary. Some looking for a philosophy to follow, some adamant about their own beliefs (me), others just wanting to learn about Asian philosophy, and others just wanting to learn about their culture/own philosophical beliefs in this course. Ah boy, I do not know if I can take this class. So many questions arise such as "Is there merit to what they believe? These are philosophies that existed before Jesus even came to Earth. How can there be blame that they came up with these thoughts of God when there was no knowledge of the Hebrew God presented to them?" Or "Am I a Christian just because Christianity is all that was presented before me in my life?" I do not want to follow Christ because He is all I know or because other people follow Him. That is not at all a basis to do anything. There is no thinking for the self in that situation. But then, just because Christianity is the only way of life that I have been exposed to does not mean that it is not the truth. That is a silly notion. But I bring this latter question up because I just want to be rooted in my faith not on the basis that many others believe or because it's all I've known. That is shallow and narrow. I want to fear Jesus Christ because He is the Right Way, because He is the Truth, because there is True Life in Him. I want to fear Jesus because He is the only way to GOD (defined as the Creator of the Universe--- not as an ant -____-). HALLELUJAH. Praise Yahweh! Please help me Lord. Keep me FIRM and STEADFAST in You. Give me boldness and strength. EMPOWER me Holy Spirit! Holy, HOLY Spirit, for that is what You are! HOLY!
Into MARVELOUS LIGHT! I'm running!
Out of Darkness! Out of Shame!
By the CROSS YOU are the TRUTH!
You are the LIFE!
You are the WAY!
Hallelujah to the King of Kings!
Hallelujah to the Lamb!
Hallelujah to the Lord of Lords!
He is the GREAT I AM!!!!!
He is our King!
He is our Love!
He our God Who's come to bring us back to Him!
He is the One!
He is JESUS!
Thank You Lord. I want to praise and worship You all of the days of my life. Root me in YOU oh Lord. And may my declaration of Your Lordship not be shallow, but a true and deep knowing of Your Glory, Sovereignty, and Supremacy. I do not now if I will have future doubts or more deep troublings in my spirit, but I pray that You will comfort and encourage me through it all. Oh no, please never let go, through the calm and through the storm, in every high and low. NEVER let go of me Jesus.
Thank You Lord.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Still Bored
Ok, the phone conversation wasn't so bad. Lots of whatever small talk. It was like talking to Dad, filling him in on lots of random facts like "I start class on Monday" and "This is my phone number." He asked me about the snow "Pretty deep... weird seeing Binghamton with this much snow... but it's pretty." Pointlessness. Anyway. He still has not read the e-mail I sent about the youth ministry at Grace and I sent that bad boy ten days ago. Geez, I need to let go of the grudge I have against him. Step your game up Grace, we need to be in a state of urgency when it comes to winning people into the Kingdom of God! Maybe that's what I'll do as I sit at this desk bored. Plan for Grace.
Man, I am tight I did not blog my whole first semester of college! That is such a new and different and important time in my life. And on Dec. 31, 2010, I was doing a video that was highlighting things over the year 2010 (a huge chunk including first semester of college) and the dang video cut off halfway through because I did not have enough space on my iPod. I was dang tight fo' sho'! (lol). But whatevs, I have mucho vid. blogs that I should really upload before something traumatic happens 0__0
Surfing the net for a job. Tutoring for $20 an hour to an 8-year-old third grader? Cake! But will her mom take my word for it from this Human Development major wanna-be? Dunno. Oh well, that's the cool thing with knowing God. If He wants you to have it, you'll have it! If He doesn't, you won't. Plain and Simple (in theory).
Anyway,
TTFN.
-Salmon out (again)
Man, I am tight I did not blog my whole first semester of college! That is such a new and different and important time in my life. And on Dec. 31, 2010, I was doing a video that was highlighting things over the year 2010 (a huge chunk including first semester of college) and the dang video cut off halfway through because I did not have enough space on my iPod. I was dang tight fo' sho'! (lol). But whatevs, I have mucho vid. blogs that I should really upload before something traumatic happens 0__0
Surfing the net for a job. Tutoring for $20 an hour to an 8-year-old third grader? Cake! But will her mom take my word for it from this Human Development major wanna-be? Dunno. Oh well, that's the cool thing with knowing God. If He wants you to have it, you'll have it! If He doesn't, you won't. Plain and Simple (in theory).
Anyway,
TTFN.
-Salmon out (again)
b-o-r-e-d
Currently Listening to Stellar Kart's Newest Album "Everything is Different Now"
I am so bored. I got to Binghamton yesterday at around 2 pm and there was hardly anybody on my floor. It was really weird coming back to life at Bing. after being at home for 5 weeks. Stephen said that after the summer it's even weirder; I can imagine.
So because I am so bored, I decided to blog (lol, when all attempts to occupy self fail, you can always rely on YouTube and blogging. But blogging more so). Hmmmm, what's been on my mind lately? Oh, I am super bummed that Stephen is not at Bing this semester. Total downer. I've also been really contemplating how much I want to grow as a Christian this year. I want to be bolder and have greater discernment. I want to be more in tune with the Holy Spirit so that I'll be more sensitive to what He's saying to me or telling me to do. More sync, less confusion/questions about what God wants me to do. I also very much want to have a greater faith and trust in God. I hung out with Roschelle this past Wednesday and she said that if she can trust God with the destination of her soul and believes that He is the Great Everything, if God tells her to tell a man that God loves Him she should be able to trust God on that level as well. And that is so true. I sing all the time that I trust in You and this year I realized that I really don't. 'Cause if I did, there would not be so much hesitation to do the things You tell me to do Lord. Please increase my faith and make me ever sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah.
Ugh, joy killed. I have to call Pastor, for my mother says so -____-
God, help me in this phone conversation with Pastor. Help me to be humble. Guide the words that come out of my mouth, 'cause I have no idea what I am going to say. And please help me not to harbor so much resentment against him. That is not Christ-like at all.
Oh sigh.
Jesus please help me.
So that is the important stuff running through my mind at the moment. Classes start Monday, and I am ready to kick butt! But until then, I shall... figure out things to do.
Toodles.
-Salmon Out
I am so bored. I got to Binghamton yesterday at around 2 pm and there was hardly anybody on my floor. It was really weird coming back to life at Bing. after being at home for 5 weeks. Stephen said that after the summer it's even weirder; I can imagine.
So because I am so bored, I decided to blog (lol, when all attempts to occupy self fail, you can always rely on YouTube and blogging. But blogging more so). Hmmmm, what's been on my mind lately? Oh, I am super bummed that Stephen is not at Bing this semester. Total downer. I've also been really contemplating how much I want to grow as a Christian this year. I want to be bolder and have greater discernment. I want to be more in tune with the Holy Spirit so that I'll be more sensitive to what He's saying to me or telling me to do. More sync, less confusion/questions about what God wants me to do. I also very much want to have a greater faith and trust in God. I hung out with Roschelle this past Wednesday and she said that if she can trust God with the destination of her soul and believes that He is the Great Everything, if God tells her to tell a man that God loves Him she should be able to trust God on that level as well. And that is so true. I sing all the time that I trust in You and this year I realized that I really don't. 'Cause if I did, there would not be so much hesitation to do the things You tell me to do Lord. Please increase my faith and make me ever sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah.
Ugh, joy killed. I have to call Pastor, for my mother says so -____-
God, help me in this phone conversation with Pastor. Help me to be humble. Guide the words that come out of my mouth, 'cause I have no idea what I am going to say. And please help me not to harbor so much resentment against him. That is not Christ-like at all.
Oh sigh.
Jesus please help me.
So that is the important stuff running through my mind at the moment. Classes start Monday, and I am ready to kick butt! But until then, I shall... figure out things to do.
Toodles.
-Salmon Out
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Patient, Persistent PRAYER
So God has been showing me the importance of prayer lately. Lately as in the beginning of this past semester and again this past week. Pastor Richie said Saturday-gone at Misfit Service that "Patient and persistent prayer is not foolishness." And this week God gave me a lot to pray for. 1) There is this whole crush thing that is KILLING me, UGH! 2) I NEED guidance and strength and boldness to go on with the New Student Outreach stuff at InterVarsity. I need help in evangelizing! 2) I met with Krystal today to catch up about stuff and I need to lift her in prayer 3) Leon asked me today to lift him up in prayer before the Lord in regards to school and carrying on in another semester 4) I need to lift up Renée in prayer and she deals with a relationship 5) I need to pray for Brittany and for God to bless her with strength to go through school. Also for God to bless her with a better understanding of Him. 6) For Grace Baptist Chapel, especially the youth. 7) That my family will become followers of Christ/will delve deeper into Him. 8) For Nico and her mother and family in the death of her father. Oh Lord. 9) For DeShana and others in their college app. process. 10) For the brother of a Christian who recently gave his life to Christ at Hillsong NYC.
Whew. Lots of praying to do!
And the more I pray and fast, the greater my testimony. (Hmmmm, I wonder if that is a doctrinally sound statement...)
God, I'm believing for a breakthrough in each of these areas (most. def the first one -_-). Do great and marvelous things in the lives of my brothers and sisters and help me to be patient and persistent in my requests to You Lord Jesus. And Lord, help me to look forward to the joy that will be in my heart when you answer the prayers of your child. Give me a patient heart Lord!
Amen.
-Salmon Out
Whew. Lots of praying to do!
And the more I pray and fast, the greater my testimony. (Hmmmm, I wonder if that is a doctrinally sound statement...)
God, I'm believing for a breakthrough in each of these areas (most. def the first one -_-). Do great and marvelous things in the lives of my brothers and sisters and help me to be patient and persistent in my requests to You Lord Jesus. And Lord, help me to look forward to the joy that will be in my heart when you answer the prayers of your child. Give me a patient heart Lord!
Amen.
-Salmon Out
Monday, January 3, 2011
Thank You Jesus
Thank You Jesus. I am ever appreciative of how You communicate to me through my life. I ask You to use me and You say "Of course I will, but I have to chizzle away some things first." And You are putting me under the fire and perfecting me and making me more like You and I am realizing how far from You I actually am. I had this obnoxious thought that being a Christian meant I had arrived. As if I knew everything. And I didn't know this is how I thought. Then You showed me how broken I am and how much hurt there is in my life. How many pains from childhood have laid dormant and unaddressed that have not been healed. You showed me my brokenness. Thank You for reminding me how much I truly need You. Lord, please help me to trust and obey You FULLY. Then all else will follow and fall into place. Hallelujah. Thank You Lord. Thank You.
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