Hey.
So today, I decided to try something that I've been wanting to try for a while. I bought some fruit at Bravo today: 6 apples, 6 oranges, and 6 bananas. My mission? To give food to someone in need. I went to Manhattan today, so I figured I'd see somebody who'd be in need. So I saw this woman who was sitting in the subway with a sign I did not even read at first. I gave her one bag (which had two of each fruit) and went on my way. I parted ways with Althea then went up to the platform to catch the 5 train (I saw the woman eating one of the apples I had given her on my way up; how great I felt!!). I tripped up one of the steps to the platform and that second cost me the train. I felt like I should go back and talk to the woman, so I went back down the steps. I asked if I could pray with her, she said yes. I asked her name, she said Sunita (Soo-neeta)? I was so upset with myself for allowing myself to forget. Anyway, I put my hand on her knee, and she put her hand over mine and we prayed. I gave her another bag of fruit so that she could share more with her children. Then I left her.
Earlier, while I was walking to the 28 bus stop after buying the fruit, I started thinking about the whole nature of being compassionate. It's so hard to be compassionate in the city. It is so much easier to default to apathy and dehumanization. We can condition ourselves to walk past people much easier than we can allow ourselves to care. After my experience with Sunita, I noticed how weird I felt. I felt weird being compassionate. How terrible it is when a person gets to the point where they feel abnormal for caring for the needs of another person. That is something that HAS TO change. What would it be like if people created a culture of compassion towards those in need? Those suffering? What a different NYC. Compassion is contagious I will say. What was stirred in the minds of those who saw me praying with Sunita? How did Sunita (I can't help but feel like that's not her name....) feel when someone decided not to walk past her, but stop and read her sign about help for her and her kids and pray with her? Pray that God will meet their need and bring them through this struggle so they could one day testify about His goodness? Man, what a way God will change their lives. And change the lives of many more people if more decide to answer the call to be compassionate. Jesus, do it! I know that I have been moved by seeing the compassion of others. So Lord, start a chain reaction. Create a boldness in the people, especially Christians, to do something about the condition of their fellow man. Lord, when I spent that moment with Sunita, I was able to see that she was human. With her hand over mine, we were connected; she was my sister.
God, embolden my faith in You so that I may have more courage to be compassionate! Raise up others to do the same thing. Change New York City. AMEN.
=)
12:50 pm
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Why Wouldn't a God Exist?
Janell Salmon
Seriously dudes, why wouldn't a God exist?
Natasha Culpepper, Ashley Carter and 2 others like this
Kessiah Worrell
why should a god exist??
Curtis Lambert
dont cast ur pearls upon swine cause pigs dont know the value of precious stone
Janell Salmon
@ Kessi - There is MAD evidence. There is no way we are here by chance with no purpose.
@ Curtis - Hmmm
Kessiah Worrell
mad evidence like?
Janell Salmon
Take a cell phone, whose purpose is to make phone calls, text, etc. With the knowledge you have right now, can you recreate it? A human, with greater knowledge, was behind the creation of that cell phone. It didn't just form out of nowhere;... the design is too complex for it to just naturally appear. There has to be something behind that design.
Now look at the complications of the human body. Look up "anatomy" in any encyclopedia and just look at how intricately and specifically things work together in the human body to accomplish one purpose. There is def. something intelligent being behind it, just like with the cell phone.See More
Kessiah Worrell
if thats your best argument you have to come better then that. your cell phone point was based off of previous ideas like the house telephone. a idea to take phones out of the house and be able to talk on the go was made by probably more th...en 1 more person and edited by trial and error for a long while.
the complication of a human body is simple through years and years of trial and error our "anatomy" corrected itself to give us what we needed to survive
Janell Salmon
So, you are saying that the body realized itself "Oh hey, we are doing something wrong guys, let's fix it?"
And with the cell phone, the point is that it was created by someone, excuse me, some people. It did not create itself. If you were i...n the middle of a forest and a cell phone dropped from the sky, would you think it just created itself? It's design is too complicated for that. The body, and the cell phone, does not have a mind of its own.See More
Kessiah Worrell
true the cell phone was created by someone but it had a BASIS which it was made off of and ideas by other people and as for your human body claim in its own sense yes. Thats why some people dont have wisdom teeth. long long long long long LONG time ago we needed the wisdom teeth to chew raw meat and all that we dont really need the wisdom teeth anymore so over time its seizing to grow for some people and eventually will probably stop growing all together for everyone
Janell Salmon
Whether or not the cell phone had a "basis which it was made off of" it was still CREATED. Whether or not we still need our wisdom teeth to eat, they were CREATED. We are CREATED beings. If we are CREATED, then we must have a CREATOR
aka
GOD.
Kessiah
u need 2 come up with better ways to defend ur standing in a debate nelly
5:31pm
Me
As do you
5:32pm
Kessiah
on the contrary. all i did was take wat u said n attempt to use it agasint u. i didnt really feel like making any points lol
i jus felt like debating sumthing n ur status gave me a oppurtunity lol
5:34pm
Me
Devil's advocate, makes sense
But I feel like you were not effectively using my points against me
Anyway, it does not matter
Just want you to know, God exists
5:36pm
Kessiah
the whole point of me doing the whole debate thing with u was to see how u defended ur belieefs
beliefs*
5:37pm
Me
And I am not as bad as you make me seem
5:38pm
Kessiah
lol i wasnt tryn 2 make u look bad
5:39pm
Me
Hmm-hmm
Okay
5:44pm
Me
Kessi, we shall talk later
Heading out to Bible Study
Ttfn
5:44pm
Kessiah
later
Seriously dudes, why wouldn't a God exist?
Natasha Culpepper, Ashley Carter and 2 others like this
Kessiah Worrell
why should a god exist??
Curtis Lambert
dont cast ur pearls upon swine cause pigs dont know the value of precious stone
Janell Salmon
@ Kessi - There is MAD evidence. There is no way we are here by chance with no purpose.
@ Curtis - Hmmm
Kessiah Worrell
mad evidence like?
Janell Salmon
Take a cell phone, whose purpose is to make phone calls, text, etc. With the knowledge you have right now, can you recreate it? A human, with greater knowledge, was behind the creation of that cell phone. It didn't just form out of nowhere;... the design is too complex for it to just naturally appear. There has to be something behind that design.
Now look at the complications of the human body. Look up "anatomy" in any encyclopedia and just look at how intricately and specifically things work together in the human body to accomplish one purpose. There is def. something intelligent being behind it, just like with the cell phone.See More
Kessiah Worrell
if thats your best argument you have to come better then that. your cell phone point was based off of previous ideas like the house telephone. a idea to take phones out of the house and be able to talk on the go was made by probably more th...en 1 more person and edited by trial and error for a long while.
the complication of a human body is simple through years and years of trial and error our "anatomy" corrected itself to give us what we needed to survive
Janell Salmon
So, you are saying that the body realized itself "Oh hey, we are doing something wrong guys, let's fix it?"
And with the cell phone, the point is that it was created by someone, excuse me, some people. It did not create itself. If you were i...n the middle of a forest and a cell phone dropped from the sky, would you think it just created itself? It's design is too complicated for that. The body, and the cell phone, does not have a mind of its own.See More
Kessiah Worrell
true the cell phone was created by someone but it had a BASIS which it was made off of and ideas by other people and as for your human body claim in its own sense yes. Thats why some people dont have wisdom teeth. long long long long long LONG time ago we needed the wisdom teeth to chew raw meat and all that we dont really need the wisdom teeth anymore so over time its seizing to grow for some people and eventually will probably stop growing all together for everyone
Janell Salmon
Whether or not the cell phone had a "basis which it was made off of" it was still CREATED. Whether or not we still need our wisdom teeth to eat, they were CREATED. We are CREATED beings. If we are CREATED, then we must have a CREATOR
aka
GOD.
Kessiah
u need 2 come up with better ways to defend ur standing in a debate nelly
5:31pm
Me
As do you
5:32pm
Kessiah
on the contrary. all i did was take wat u said n attempt to use it agasint u. i didnt really feel like making any points lol
i jus felt like debating sumthing n ur status gave me a oppurtunity lol
5:34pm
Me
Devil's advocate, makes sense
But I feel like you were not effectively using my points against me
Anyway, it does not matter
Just want you to know, God exists
5:36pm
Kessiah
the whole point of me doing the whole debate thing with u was to see how u defended ur belieefs
beliefs*
5:37pm
Me
And I am not as bad as you make me seem
5:38pm
Kessiah
lol i wasnt tryn 2 make u look bad
5:39pm
Me
Hmm-hmm
Okay
5:44pm
Me
Kessi, we shall talk later
Heading out to Bible Study
Ttfn
5:44pm
Kessiah
later
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
A Word to my Christian Sisters
The following is a Note that I was tagged in on Facebook. I hope to fully embody this attitude.
___________________________________________________
A Word to my Christian Sisters
What makes you think that just because I am an Attractive woman of Godly intelligence that I'm incomplete without a mate? Who told you that without a man something's missing From my life? And if so, what would that be?
Love? I love myself. And more importantly I love the Lord He told me that when I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart
Security? I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.
Intimacy? Now, how's a man going to get to know me when he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord?
See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth and a gem does not seek, it is sought. I'm single and that's all right with me.
See, it's not that I oppose relationships. It's that I detest co-dependency.
As a woman, I know it is not my role to chase after any man.
Esther 2:14 reads: That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me. He will call me by my name.
My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.
I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored. It's not my job to convince him Or convict him of that. My mate will already know it, and consistently show it. He will stay on his knees daily, not just to adore me, but to praise the Lord for the virtuous woman he has found. So, when you see me by myself, I'm not alone, I know what I have coming to me. I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!
___________________________________________________
Be blessed <3
___________________________________________________
A Word to my Christian Sisters
What makes you think that just because I am an Attractive woman of Godly intelligence that I'm incomplete without a mate? Who told you that without a man something's missing From my life? And if so, what would that be?
Love? I love myself. And more importantly I love the Lord He told me that when I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart
Security? I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.
Intimacy? Now, how's a man going to get to know me when he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord?
See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth and a gem does not seek, it is sought. I'm single and that's all right with me.
See, it's not that I oppose relationships. It's that I detest co-dependency.
As a woman, I know it is not my role to chase after any man.
Esther 2:14 reads: That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me. He will call me by my name.
My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.
I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored. It's not my job to convince him Or convict him of that. My mate will already know it, and consistently show it. He will stay on his knees daily, not just to adore me, but to praise the Lord for the virtuous woman he has found. So, when you see me by myself, I'm not alone, I know what I have coming to me. I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!
___________________________________________________
Be blessed <3
Saturday, July 31, 2010
So, the whole Life-In-A-Day thing failed. God didn't want me to put them up. So they got deleted -_- Sadness, but such is life (I say that now because I am over it). I was so tight though! And I lost more stuff today because this stupid comp. shut down on me! Argh, public computers. But at least I have one.
The videos were basically asking the fam and myself what do me love, what makes us laugh, what do we fear, and what's in our pockets. lol, they were cool vids. Then the vids. I was trying to upload today before the comp. shut down were dealing with the preparing of the chicken for the boys chicken fund raising event (and other things like dissing how boyish I looked and playing the cool Charlie Brown Christmas piano song). Later that same day (this was on Thursday), I recorded a video about NJ losing my phone. The ending of it was funny. Aah sigh, I just know not to rely on comps. that delete memory every time they shut down -__-. Anyway...
God blessed me today. Like really blessed me today. I don't even know where to begin. But He spoke to me through Cynthia today. And it was really great. Get ready. Because God is showing me more of Him and is revolutionizing my life and walk with Him. Pray that I become stronger in the Lord. HALLELUJAH! Thank You GOD for who YOU are! I love you Lord! That is all I can say. Praise Your Name and I THANK You for Your Love.
A-MEN!!!!
<3
The videos were basically asking the fam and myself what do me love, what makes us laugh, what do we fear, and what's in our pockets. lol, they were cool vids. Then the vids. I was trying to upload today before the comp. shut down were dealing with the preparing of the chicken for the boys chicken fund raising event (and other things like dissing how boyish I looked and playing the cool Charlie Brown Christmas piano song). Later that same day (this was on Thursday), I recorded a video about NJ losing my phone. The ending of it was funny. Aah sigh, I just know not to rely on comps. that delete memory every time they shut down -__-. Anyway...
God blessed me today. Like really blessed me today. I don't even know where to begin. But He spoke to me through Cynthia today. And it was really great. Get ready. Because God is showing me more of Him and is revolutionizing my life and walk with Him. Pray that I become stronger in the Lord. HALLELUJAH! Thank You GOD for who YOU are! I love you Lord! That is all I can say. Praise Your Name and I THANK You for Your Love.
A-MEN!!!!
<3
Saturday, July 24, 2010
One month later...
Geez, I need to get on my blogging game! So anyway, lots of shtuff has happened, there was SSS this summer (absolutely amazing) and right now I'm taking online courses (not so amazing) but I just signed on to this blog to talk about what today is:
LIFE-IN-A-DAY DAY!
This dude named Kevin MacDonald is going to make a film that documents (aka documentary xD) what it was like to live on July 24, 2010. He said it would have social value and be a little time capsule. That is the coolest thing. So for some reason, the idea for a bucket list popped into my head the past day or two. Some of the things that were on my mental list:
Cut my hair straight bald.
Get locks (I might do that first actually).
Create a time capsule with friends and fam (and soon!).
That time capsule idea has laid dormant in my mind for a while. A year or two ago, I saw an ep. of Zoey 101 and they made a time capsule which they buried beneath the ground to be pulled up 20 years later. That is pretty cool! And this whole Life-In-A-Day idea is pretty awesome too. I wanna do something. I don't even care if it makes it into the documentary (that would be cool though). I just want to participate. And the vid. or vids. we do today and the ones we have been doing can be a part of that! How AWESOME would that be? Uber excited!
kk, tata, I must blog soon!
Nelly <3
LIFE-IN-A-DAY DAY!
This dude named Kevin MacDonald is going to make a film that documents (aka documentary xD) what it was like to live on July 24, 2010. He said it would have social value and be a little time capsule. That is the coolest thing. So for some reason, the idea for a bucket list popped into my head the past day or two. Some of the things that were on my mental list:
Cut my hair straight bald.
Get locks (I might do that first actually).
Create a time capsule with friends and fam (and soon!).
That time capsule idea has laid dormant in my mind for a while. A year or two ago, I saw an ep. of Zoey 101 and they made a time capsule which they buried beneath the ground to be pulled up 20 years later. That is pretty cool! And this whole Life-In-A-Day idea is pretty awesome too. I wanna do something. I don't even care if it makes it into the documentary (that would be cool though). I just want to participate. And the vid. or vids. we do today and the ones we have been doing can be a part of that! How AWESOME would that be? Uber excited!
kk, tata, I must blog soon!
Nelly <3
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Daily Audio Bible Entry: Encouragement
Hi all! I am new to this site and I just wanted to encourage you with something that blessed my heart. I listen to the Contemporary Christian Channel on Music Choice and a song played that I absolutely love. It is called Before The Morning by Josh Wilson. I looked up the lyrics for it and stumbled upon some testimonies having to do with the song. Here they are:
Anonymous June 22, 2010 11:55
I heard this song when I discovered my wife was cheating on me. I discovered many things about her...and it destroyed me. I was not saved....I was an atheist. In my anquish....I fell on my knees.....crying out to God......and then my friend.....the one who patiently waited for me over the years....contacted me. She sent me things to read....she sent me things to listen to. This song (on youtube) was one of them.
I'm now saved.....the heart bursting joy I felt....was amazing. God answered my prayer....even though I didn't know I was praying....and sent my friend to help me....help me open that door to God.
Anonymous June 20, 2010 08:33
I heard this song for the first time a few days ago while listing to KSBJ - the BEST christian radio station in Houston, TX. The lyrics to this song are amazing and very powerful. I too am crying and praying fervently for a very dear family whose 16 year old son, Joseph, is in a coma from a tramatic head injury he received riding his skateboard. He has been in a coma since June 3rd. By GOD's grace, he continues to fight the good fight and his family's faith in GOD'S power to perform a modern day miracle to heal Joseph is unwavering. I pray for GOD's grace, mercy and healing to all those who hear this song. Thank you to those who've shared their stories. Your stories bring HOPE. GOD BE WITH YOU.
Anonymous June 12, 2010 07:34
Lovely song. It always plays on 95.9 "the fish" when I feel down and out, reminding me that God will see me through all this. He has done it several times before and will do it again because I trust in Him and rely on Him to be my guide and guardian. Just be patient!
Anonymous May 22, 2010 07:21
It is so very amazing. Every time I start wondering where God is in my situation, this song seems to play on WGTS 91.9 FM in Maryland, my favorite and only radio station I listen to. Whatever God is trying to say to me through this song, Ii pray He would make my faith sight. To choose this Christian pathway comes with lots of questions for which they seem to be no answers. But by faith, we go on leaning on His word; trusting in his Holy Name and believe He will never fail us.
Anonymous May 21, 2010 09:45
WOW, this song came on during a time when I was so confused and furious about a situation with someone I care about, and the lyrics just spoke to me. the lyrics just hit the nail on the head, and gave me hope :)
Anonymous May 08, 2010 04:31
Oh my...I just read all the stories before mine. I pray at this very moment that each of you feel the loving arms of our faithful Father God holding you. He loves you all so very, very much. And the cross you are carrying is the cross he gave you because he knew he could trust you with it. My heart breaks for you. It truly does. You will have an awesome testimony to share of God's grace one day. He has you by the hand. We all need to keep praising the Lord. And, know that everything we have gone through he too suffered. And as this anointed writer Josh Wilson said, joy come in the morning. We still have a reason to sing, the pain that we are feeling can't compare to the joy that is coming. In His presence is the fullness of joy. Keep Praising, Keep the faith, Keep your eyes on Jesus. In His love, Karen H
Anonymous February 09, 2010 10:44
LOVE LOVE this song - he wrote this for a friend whose son wasn't supposed to live due to a Congenital Heart Defect. He's 8 now! I can so relate because my 7 yr old son was also born with a CHD & has been through so much pain in his short life. His is physical pain, mine is emotional pain. But God has been at his side from day 1 & all I can do is PRAISE GOD! You need to see the video at: http://apps.facebook.com/joshwilson/
Anonymous February 05, 2010 09:12
This amazing song of truth reminds us of a God and Saviour who is acquainted with our grief and comforts us to then comfort others. Thanks you Josh for paying the price in worship to pen these lyrics.
Anonymous February 01, 2010 10:31
I did not know the story behind this song untill I bought the album. 14yrs ago my son and daughter died and this summer my husband was suddenly killed in an accident. This song touched a part of my soul deep. I am only 44 and I too will stand strong and dare to believe for me and my 8yr daughter. Thank you Josh for your words.
Anonymous January 31, 2010 02:42
Psalms 109:22,26-27,31
"For I am poor and needy,and my heart is wounded within me... Help me, O Lord, my God! Oh, save me according to your mercy, that they may know that THIS is Your hand-that You, Lord, have done it!... For He shall stand at the right hand of the poor, to save him from those who condemn him."
Anonymous January 31, 2010 02:28
This song has meant so much to me too while I wait for God to do some extremely important things in my life. I need Him so much to come through for me. I'm sure you're family is strugglig for the same thing. But God is FOR US! Who can be against us?? I'll pray for Ayven and your family too! May God show you His miraculous power!
Anonymous January 28, 2010 08:32
I know how it feels to have someone so little that you love so much suffering through such a hard and awful thing. I will pray for Ayven.
Anonymous January 24, 2010 05:39
I heard this song driving home one night...while crying for my little grandson who is a coma due to severe head trauma caused by a daycare provider. He was injured Dec 18 2009 and remains in a come. We ar etold he will not ever be able to interact with his surroundings. My daughter has decided to trust God and let Him lead the way. Our Ayven is breathing on his own and able to swallow as not to assperate causing lungs to fill up with fluid. He does have a feeding tube and will soon have surgery to replace his skull which was removed to relieve pressure. All of that to say.......This song has given me the most comfort through this ordeal. HOPE!!!!!
__________________________________________
Please be in prayer for these people and I hope that you are blessed by the song and their testimonmies! Here is a link for the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=oZDQzR8LK-c&feature=related
God Bless!
Anonymous June 22, 2010 11:55
I heard this song when I discovered my wife was cheating on me. I discovered many things about her...and it destroyed me. I was not saved....I was an atheist. In my anquish....I fell on my knees.....crying out to God......and then my friend.....the one who patiently waited for me over the years....contacted me. She sent me things to read....she sent me things to listen to. This song (on youtube) was one of them.
I'm now saved.....the heart bursting joy I felt....was amazing. God answered my prayer....even though I didn't know I was praying....and sent my friend to help me....help me open that door to God.
Anonymous June 20, 2010 08:33
I heard this song for the first time a few days ago while listing to KSBJ - the BEST christian radio station in Houston, TX. The lyrics to this song are amazing and very powerful. I too am crying and praying fervently for a very dear family whose 16 year old son, Joseph, is in a coma from a tramatic head injury he received riding his skateboard. He has been in a coma since June 3rd. By GOD's grace, he continues to fight the good fight and his family's faith in GOD'S power to perform a modern day miracle to heal Joseph is unwavering. I pray for GOD's grace, mercy and healing to all those who hear this song. Thank you to those who've shared their stories. Your stories bring HOPE. GOD BE WITH YOU.
Anonymous June 12, 2010 07:34
Lovely song. It always plays on 95.9 "the fish" when I feel down and out, reminding me that God will see me through all this. He has done it several times before and will do it again because I trust in Him and rely on Him to be my guide and guardian. Just be patient!
Anonymous May 22, 2010 07:21
It is so very amazing. Every time I start wondering where God is in my situation, this song seems to play on WGTS 91.9 FM in Maryland, my favorite and only radio station I listen to. Whatever God is trying to say to me through this song, Ii pray He would make my faith sight. To choose this Christian pathway comes with lots of questions for which they seem to be no answers. But by faith, we go on leaning on His word; trusting in his Holy Name and believe He will never fail us.
Anonymous May 21, 2010 09:45
WOW, this song came on during a time when I was so confused and furious about a situation with someone I care about, and the lyrics just spoke to me. the lyrics just hit the nail on the head, and gave me hope :)
Anonymous May 08, 2010 04:31
Oh my...I just read all the stories before mine. I pray at this very moment that each of you feel the loving arms of our faithful Father God holding you. He loves you all so very, very much. And the cross you are carrying is the cross he gave you because he knew he could trust you with it. My heart breaks for you. It truly does. You will have an awesome testimony to share of God's grace one day. He has you by the hand. We all need to keep praising the Lord. And, know that everything we have gone through he too suffered. And as this anointed writer Josh Wilson said, joy come in the morning. We still have a reason to sing, the pain that we are feeling can't compare to the joy that is coming. In His presence is the fullness of joy. Keep Praising, Keep the faith, Keep your eyes on Jesus. In His love, Karen H
Anonymous February 09, 2010 10:44
LOVE LOVE this song - he wrote this for a friend whose son wasn't supposed to live due to a Congenital Heart Defect. He's 8 now! I can so relate because my 7 yr old son was also born with a CHD & has been through so much pain in his short life. His is physical pain, mine is emotional pain. But God has been at his side from day 1 & all I can do is PRAISE GOD! You need to see the video at: http://apps.facebook.com/joshwilson/
Anonymous February 05, 2010 09:12
This amazing song of truth reminds us of a God and Saviour who is acquainted with our grief and comforts us to then comfort others. Thanks you Josh for paying the price in worship to pen these lyrics.
Anonymous February 01, 2010 10:31
I did not know the story behind this song untill I bought the album. 14yrs ago my son and daughter died and this summer my husband was suddenly killed in an accident. This song touched a part of my soul deep. I am only 44 and I too will stand strong and dare to believe for me and my 8yr daughter. Thank you Josh for your words.
Anonymous January 31, 2010 02:42
Psalms 109:22,26-27,31
"For I am poor and needy,and my heart is wounded within me... Help me, O Lord, my God! Oh, save me according to your mercy, that they may know that THIS is Your hand-that You, Lord, have done it!... For He shall stand at the right hand of the poor, to save him from those who condemn him."
Anonymous January 31, 2010 02:28
This song has meant so much to me too while I wait for God to do some extremely important things in my life. I need Him so much to come through for me. I'm sure you're family is strugglig for the same thing. But God is FOR US! Who can be against us?? I'll pray for Ayven and your family too! May God show you His miraculous power!
Anonymous January 28, 2010 08:32
I know how it feels to have someone so little that you love so much suffering through such a hard and awful thing. I will pray for Ayven.
Anonymous January 24, 2010 05:39
I heard this song driving home one night...while crying for my little grandson who is a coma due to severe head trauma caused by a daycare provider. He was injured Dec 18 2009 and remains in a come. We ar etold he will not ever be able to interact with his surroundings. My daughter has decided to trust God and let Him lead the way. Our Ayven is breathing on his own and able to swallow as not to assperate causing lungs to fill up with fluid. He does have a feeding tube and will soon have surgery to replace his skull which was removed to relieve pressure. All of that to say.......This song has given me the most comfort through this ordeal. HOPE!!!!!
__________________________________________
Please be in prayer for these people and I hope that you are blessed by the song and their testimonmies! Here is a link for the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=oZDQzR8LK-c&feature=related
God Bless!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Matthew the Brat for a Brother -_-
Matthew annoys me. Like, really frustrates me. He is so angry! I don't think I was that bad. Was I that bad? He keeps things pent up. I mean, I do too, but I think I control it a tad bit better. Maybe it's 'cause he's a boy. What frustrates me the most is that 1) he gets angry at the smallest things. Like, blows up. And 2) he doesn't think he has to change. Really kid? Really? I mean, I have anger issues too, but I know I've got a problem. He's semi-aware but he doesn't care to do anything. Supposedly he's tried but it's too hard. So he gives up. And he sees the flaws in everybody else, so thinks it's okay to keep his flaws since we are imperfect. That's how he justifies his nastiness. And it's frustrating. He stores up all of these examples and stories to use against us when he's sees we're contradicting ourselves. Insignificant contradictions. It's petty. He retrieves these past events that nobody remembers. His grudges are ridiculous. Is he gonna be like this forever? Please God, NO. Help me deal God, and help me to not appear to be a hypocrite. Jesus, I need patience. Help me to keep my cool. AMEN.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Prom Update
So, I figure that since I've been pretty stressed about prom, I might as well give an account about what it was like.
It wasn't that serious.
It wasn't worth the stress. It all went by so quickly. Before I knew it, it was the next day. I learned that limos are overrated. The DJ played these three genres: Spanish music, Dancehall, Rap. Very few rockish poppish songs. Single Ladies was played mad early in the night. The music wasn't that great. The best parts of the night was seeing all the pretty people and taking pictures with Natasha Culpepper and Tara McDermott. We took some silly pics. I finally warmed up to my dress, I must admit I looked good. Not what I had envisioned, but I did look good. SO glad I did not wear the other Cinderalla looking dress (check out two posts ago for details). In the end, I just stressed morethan I should of. Prom is just a fancy dance party. And it's not even about the dancing. Anyway, my "after prom" event was sleeping over at Natasha Culpepper's house. It was so spontaneous! We were gonna watch Disney movies, but we were too tired, so we watched a few sing-a-longs and called it a day. Slept from 2 'til about 10:45ish. Tara had to work Friday, so we didn't even hang that day. Could have gone to the movies with Natasha but I didn't feel like it and Mom forgot to equip me with money -_-. In general, prom was nice, but not as spectacular as it had seemed.
So about the annoying stuff that happened.
1) NEVER AGAIN will I be in a limo with unorganized and inconsiderate people. I had to leave prom 30-45 minutes early because fellow limomates had to go to an after party. I found this out ten minutes prior to out supposed departure. I feel like I was used just to subtract from the limo expense. Meh-run piseed me off so much; never again will I ride in a vehicle with her -_______-
2) So, Jeremy speaks and so of his spit gets on my arm. I wipe it on him and he's like "What?" I say, "You spit on me." And do you know what he said? He goes, "Does that remind you of something?" The nerve! Jeremy: "I'm sorry, I had to." I just ignored him. And I was upset, but damn it to hell if I let this fool ruin my night.
3) My friend was upset because somebody touched her inappropriately while she was on the dance floor. She didn't know who it was and she felt disgusted with herself. I told her that someone had told me something unkind (I was referring to Jeremy) and that I did not let it ruin my night. I told her to have fun on this night; there will never be another high school prom! I think she felt a bit better after that. Geez, these people and their sex dancing! It was disgusting to watch.
And the 2010 Prom Queen and Prom King are *drumroll*:
Christina Mayer and
KAMAL WILLIAMS! W00T!
Take that popularity! Our class defied all that is popular. For King and Queen, I voted Kamal and Kayon. But I love how the two least likely candidates became the most likely candidates by the very virtue of their unpopularity. GREEEEEAT! =D
The Prom Princess was Taylor? something and The Prince was Julian Bristol. W00T! Go Julian! xD Princess and Prince was determined by picking names out of a bag or something. Yeah.
So yeah, that's pretty much my Prom experience. Thank Jesus that it is over. I learned that my wedding will be much more well planned and that I will not limo will ridiculous people -_____-. Also, I won't stress over things and make things worse than they really are. And next time, I will be in control of my own look.
The End :)
It wasn't that serious.
It wasn't worth the stress. It all went by so quickly. Before I knew it, it was the next day. I learned that limos are overrated. The DJ played these three genres: Spanish music, Dancehall, Rap. Very few rockish poppish songs. Single Ladies was played mad early in the night. The music wasn't that great. The best parts of the night was seeing all the pretty people and taking pictures with Natasha Culpepper and Tara McDermott. We took some silly pics. I finally warmed up to my dress, I must admit I looked good. Not what I had envisioned, but I did look good. SO glad I did not wear the other Cinderalla looking dress (check out two posts ago for details). In the end, I just stressed morethan I should of. Prom is just a fancy dance party. And it's not even about the dancing. Anyway, my "after prom" event was sleeping over at Natasha Culpepper's house. It was so spontaneous! We were gonna watch Disney movies, but we were too tired, so we watched a few sing-a-longs and called it a day. Slept from 2 'til about 10:45ish. Tara had to work Friday, so we didn't even hang that day. Could have gone to the movies with Natasha but I didn't feel like it and Mom forgot to equip me with money -_-. In general, prom was nice, but not as spectacular as it had seemed.
So about the annoying stuff that happened.
1) NEVER AGAIN will I be in a limo with unorganized and inconsiderate people. I had to leave prom 30-45 minutes early because fellow limomates had to go to an after party. I found this out ten minutes prior to out supposed departure. I feel like I was used just to subtract from the limo expense. Meh-run piseed me off so much; never again will I ride in a vehicle with her -_______-
2) So, Jeremy speaks and so of his spit gets on my arm. I wipe it on him and he's like "What?" I say, "You spit on me." And do you know what he said? He goes, "Does that remind you of something?" The nerve! Jeremy: "I'm sorry, I had to." I just ignored him. And I was upset, but damn it to hell if I let this fool ruin my night.
3) My friend was upset because somebody touched her inappropriately while she was on the dance floor. She didn't know who it was and she felt disgusted with herself. I told her that someone had told me something unkind (I was referring to Jeremy) and that I did not let it ruin my night. I told her to have fun on this night; there will never be another high school prom! I think she felt a bit better after that. Geez, these people and their sex dancing! It was disgusting to watch.
And the 2010 Prom Queen and Prom King are *drumroll*:
Christina Mayer and
KAMAL WILLIAMS! W00T!
Take that popularity! Our class defied all that is popular. For King and Queen, I voted Kamal and Kayon. But I love how the two least likely candidates became the most likely candidates by the very virtue of their unpopularity. GREEEEEAT! =D
The Prom Princess was Taylor? something and The Prince was Julian Bristol. W00T! Go Julian! xD Princess and Prince was determined by picking names out of a bag or something. Yeah.
So yeah, that's pretty much my Prom experience. Thank Jesus that it is over. I learned that my wedding will be much more well planned and that I will not limo will ridiculous people -_____-. Also, I won't stress over things and make things worse than they really are. And next time, I will be in control of my own look.
The End :)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Prom... ugh
Yeah. This prom stuff is not going over too well. Things are just not going how I want them to go! >.< And it sucks! I think the reason why I'm stressing it so much is because this is the moment that you wait for your entire high school career and one of the memories you will forever look back on. I wanted to make it spectacular! But that's not happening. I got a dress, but it's not what I wanted. It's pretty, like the other dress, but it's not what I had in mind at all. I feel like a hooker in it and it looks more like an after prom dress. But I am giving up. Sadly, I am giving up. After prom is not happening either. I paid $105 for a limo that will not be picking me up in Co-op, and will not be taking me after prom anywhere. Straight home I is going. And I'd have the limo from 1:30 to like, 3:45. God, help me to let it go! It is only prom. God, seriously, please take this from me. I don't want to care anymore and I don't want to harbor resentment. Help me to not put things on such a pedestal next time, especially when there is much and obvious room to be disappointed. Who did I think I was, getting the prom of my dreams?
AGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
*SIGH*
Whatever.
AGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
*SIGH*
Whatever.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Prom: Not what I want it to be.
God, please help me to accept it. I will not be getting the dress of my dreams.
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGH!
Remember those dresses that Ashley gave you in EIGTH GRADE that she got for free at her church? Yeah. Mom wants me to wear one of them. It's nice, but I do not want to wear. I'd like to have options. "We can't afford it." I bet we can. It's PROM! It's not like it's an event that was sprung upon us! We've known about it since forever. "If it was the same dress in a store, you would have bought it." No I wouldn't have! Agh WOMAN! I am so upset because I was so excited and I still don't know what I'm doing after prom and I'm about to say SCREW EVERYTHING and go home and sleep and wallow in misery since we "can't afford" an after prom event anyway.
-________-
I realize that I am not being understanding. Which is why I need your help Lord. I am so disappointed. So disappointed. And prom is next week Thursday and the my vision of what it was supposed to be will not be lived up to. I had a dream last night that I went to this pre-prom event (I think it was a prom that did NOT look like a prom. Looked more like an "Everybody-wear-overalls" event -_-) and it was LAME then I went to prom and went home but prom was not the memorable part of the evening. Prom was a blur. It was the pre-prom event that was most dominant in my mind. And if dreams tell the future, that dream is saying that prom is gonna SUCK. But I am aware that my mentality is going to determine how great of a time I will have. So God, help me tp change my mentality >.<
Okay, the bright side. The dressis pretty. I don't want to wear it because I had no options to choose from and it is not at all what I had in mind, but the dress is pretty. Ummm.... Even though I still do not know what I am doing after prom, the prom itself will be a good time and though I will be a loser for going home (that would be so lame!), I can look forward to the many late at night events I will participate in as a college student. Okay, no, that will not help. Um.... I can feel cool going home, coming out of the limo. Hmmm... no, 'cause people will be like "So early? That was dumb quick!" Ummm... I know! I can sleep and sleep in 'cause there is no school the next day. And thers'll have more money in my pocket (more like Dad's pocket -_-) that I will not have to spend on an event that I have to scurry people around to attend (I HATE doing that! >.<). And I don't have to worry about how I'm going to get home since the limo will have been long gone... Yep. I'm going home after prom -_-. Ugh.
Late night ultimate frisbee anyone? I'd be so done for that! >.<
Yeah God. So please just help me to lower my expectations and be understanding and not resentful and not sarcastic. That last one is a hard one, but You can do it! To the point wear I will not even hurt on the inside, so there will be no need for me to be sarcastic. Help me to embrace it like I embrace the fact I am not going to prom with a date (from the beginning I wanted to go single!). So yeah Lord, help me. So that I may have a memorable and yet prom experience. Amen.
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGH!
Remember those dresses that Ashley gave you in EIGTH GRADE that she got for free at her church? Yeah. Mom wants me to wear one of them. It's nice, but I do not want to wear. I'd like to have options. "We can't afford it." I bet we can. It's PROM! It's not like it's an event that was sprung upon us! We've known about it since forever. "If it was the same dress in a store, you would have bought it." No I wouldn't have! Agh WOMAN! I am so upset because I was so excited and I still don't know what I'm doing after prom and I'm about to say SCREW EVERYTHING and go home and sleep and wallow in misery since we "can't afford" an after prom event anyway.
-________-
I realize that I am not being understanding. Which is why I need your help Lord. I am so disappointed. So disappointed. And prom is next week Thursday and the my vision of what it was supposed to be will not be lived up to. I had a dream last night that I went to this pre-prom event (I think it was a prom that did NOT look like a prom. Looked more like an "Everybody-wear-overalls" event -_-) and it was LAME then I went to prom and went home but prom was not the memorable part of the evening. Prom was a blur. It was the pre-prom event that was most dominant in my mind. And if dreams tell the future, that dream is saying that prom is gonna SUCK. But I am aware that my mentality is going to determine how great of a time I will have. So God, help me tp change my mentality >.<
Okay, the bright side. The dressis pretty. I don't want to wear it because I had no options to choose from and it is not at all what I had in mind, but the dress is pretty. Ummm.... Even though I still do not know what I am doing after prom, the prom itself will be a good time and though I will be a loser for going home (that would be so lame!), I can look forward to the many late at night events I will participate in as a college student. Okay, no, that will not help. Um.... I can feel cool going home, coming out of the limo. Hmmm... no, 'cause people will be like "So early? That was dumb quick!" Ummm... I know! I can sleep and sleep in 'cause there is no school the next day. And thers'll have more money in my pocket (more like Dad's pocket -_-) that I will not have to spend on an event that I have to scurry people around to attend (I HATE doing that! >.<). And I don't have to worry about how I'm going to get home since the limo will have been long gone... Yep. I'm going home after prom -_-. Ugh.
Late night ultimate frisbee anyone? I'd be so done for that! >.<
Yeah God. So please just help me to lower my expectations and be understanding and not resentful and not sarcastic. That last one is a hard one, but You can do it! To the point wear I will not even hurt on the inside, so there will be no need for me to be sarcastic. Help me to embrace it like I embrace the fact I am not going to prom with a date (from the beginning I wanted to go single!). So yeah Lord, help me. So that I may have a memorable and yet prom experience. Amen.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Liberty LEADS retreat and the Senior Mass
I just came back from the last Liberty LEADS retreat ever. We were up at Clearpool in Carmel, NY. It was interesting. Of course, Emmaus trumps any retreat ever. But this one was cool. It was definitely better than previous I-Lead retreats because people took things seriously. I def. wished that I had taken advantage of everything that I-Lead have to offer. Honestly, so much went on that I'm not in the mood to write all down. But I'll just start and hopefully finish at a later time.
On this retreat, I had intended to write more post-its to put on the lockers at school. During the bus ride there, Meh-run saw me with them and asked me if I was the one who put them on the lockers. I said no. Then she goes,
"What idiot would do that?"
Jen - "Do what?"
Meh-run - "Some person put post-its on the locker saying 'God loves you Jesus will save you...'"
That kind of hurt. Like, ow! I was called an idiot x) This what I wrote on two post-its after she said that:
lmbo! Wow God. I was just called an idiot. So now I know how Meh-run feels about the post-its. She doesn't know it's me, of course I denied it. But we'll see where this goes. Of course not everyone would be receptive to this. I have to understand that from now. And I CANNOT let it discourage me. Lord, please send help. 4/23/10
The next day it was brought up and she said the person was an idiot again. She wasn't saying it maliciously but it was still hurtful. I told her I thought it was cute and she said it was, but it was mad random. So that kind of settled me. Like, it seems as though the reason why she said this person (hah hah, me) was an idiot was because the action was random. But I'm wondering if it goes deeper than that. Hmmm...
So, the first activity Friday night was of course, Libations. That's the one where everybody says a word of thanks to someone who has helped them and pours water into the plant (this time we had a ladle). It was pretty intense. People had stories, deep stories. They made me want to stick everybody on an Emmaus retreat xD. Luis's, Jeffrey's, Brian's, and Emmanuel's stories were very touching. Mariano's dedication to Brandon Medina was touching too. Libations has never been run like that before.
So, at the end of the night, I gave Luis a big hug and told him how much I appreciate the fact that he is alive. The next day, I told Brian that I am happy he's alive too. Very happy.
Friday night after the Libations exercise, Mariano and I did origami. We made a seal. Well, he really made it; after step 3 or so I could not match the paper to the picture xD. We named him Klutz, after the company who made the book. Klutz - Gender: Male. Birthday: April 23, 2010 around 10:50 pm. lol. He let me keep him too it was cool. Daytona and Igor helped out too. It was cool.
So that was Friday. I mean, the only other thing I can say is that we were all tight because dinner was Tostitos with salsa. But Friday was cool.
I'll talk about Saturday and Sunday at a later date.
_______________________________________________________
On a different note, Friday was also the Senior Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral. It was a very good mass! Archbishop Timothy Dolan gave a great homily about our identity in Christ. Gave me some material to use for my post-its xD. But it was great. And it was cool seeing my classmates from other high schools. Mariano gave a speech of gratitude to the Archbishop. He was so good! Nataly and Marc-Anthony were participants in the mass too. I saw Shani, Crystal, Reginna, Luis, Gustavo, and Preston after the mass. And when I say "saw" I mean talked to. I saw others there.
It was a great mass. And Seniors got their senior privileges back for their behavior during the mass. Nobody sang any of the songs though. In my section anyway. That was bummer.
Yeah, all I must say.
~Janell
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Locker Post-It Ministry Part 2
So! Update on the Locker Post-It Ministry.
So EVERYBODY thinks I'm the person who put the post-its up. Like, everybody. And I'm a good actor. I walked in surprised to see the post-its this morning and Stephanie Cerrone who was standing by my locker said "Oh Janell, I thought it was you but I guess not." Then this girl named Lee-Ann (don't know if that's not how you spell it) is literally telling me I did it. She wouldn't here that it was anyone else but me. She was like "How come I didn't get two on my locker, some people got two." And Steph. like how it wasn't me 'cause I just walked in, Lee-Ann said I could have come at like 6:00 in the morning. And they were just going back and forth speculating about how I could have done it. Even though I definitely denied it.
And that was just the beginning. To recount what everyone said to me would be a super long journal entry, but I'm going to do it anyway because I know I am going to thoroughly appreciate it later. So!:
Jessica D. asked me in the library if it was me. I said no. Then I expressed that I have post-its like them but it that wasn't me. That answer satified her.
Bello came into the library later and asked if I was behind the post-its. I said, "No, why does everybody keep thinking that?" Frank was around and he said "It sounds very you." lol!
Melissa M. asked me in Spanish. Again, I denied it. Then later on, Michelle B. asked and Mac was like, "Yeah I just asked her" and there was another tangent in Spanish class (Paolo calculated a total of 12 and 1/2. Don't know where he got the 1/2 from). Anisha told Brittany Frederick I'd said I did it. Brittany didn't think so. Anisha asked me and I denied it once again. Mac asked me later on if I knew who did it and I said I didn't.
Next time the post-its were brought up was two periods later (5th period). So we had a brief assembly with Ms. Faulkner in the auditorium about how people are being nasty in the bathroom. Made a point of how first of all, eating in the bathroom is nasty. But the assembly was about people being leaving their trash behind in the bathroom. Paper towels, chip bags in the sink. Yada. Aaaaanyway, as I'm leaving the auditorium, Molina asks me if it was me who did the post-its. Shannon and I believe Steph. Cerrone piggy back her. I deny it and what do they say? "Yes you did!" Then I'm parting from them 'cause my destination is the Vanguard room and theirs is the cafeteria and Sandra, Christina Ellison, Rebecca Brewington and I think (not too sure) Chenel Bennett ask if it was me. I deny it and they tell me that I did it. I gave up and was like "Alright then it was me. It's not a bad thing to be accused of, so I'm just gonna take it." lol, amazing!
As I'm walking to gym later on, I see Danny C. and Amy Spata (I believe they were the only two, there might have been others) wearing the post-its. Wearing them! I mean, I had meant for the post-its to be for the individual whose locker it was on, but hey, who knows what everyone got out of them? I hope they meant something for at least some. Ooo, I forgot to mention. Earlier, the same period I was in the library, I went to my locker to get A Streetcar Named Desire for English class. I saw Adrian Camino reading the post-its. He commented, not knowing I am the person behind the post-its, "How come they get post-its? I want one on my locker." I was flattered. It's cool. I just hope that people don't take things out of hand. Like, with the sticking post-its to bodies and switching post-its on different lockers (the one that was on my locker was not the one I put there. I put the messed up post-it on mine; somebody had it on there's. But the message is what important right?). In and of themselves, there's nothing wrong with those actions, but if somebody wants to keep there post-it, I don't want somebody else infringing upon that right. The message being spread in too important. So God, please be in this ministry, this evangelism. May those who need to hear hear the right words from YOU, not me Lord. Do YOUR work in me. And help me God, I cannot do this on my own. But I am willing. If it is Your will, please send physical help so that the task is less humongous. I want every single person in the building to hear about You Lord. Make it so God, make it so. Amen.
I'm passing Chanay on the way to gym class and she's like "Did you do the post-its? It's okay, you can tell me." I deny it once more. Bello sees me later on and is like "Are you owning up to your evangelism yet?"
My response?
"Oh my gosh, it wasn't me!"
Jasmine was quite funny. She hugs me and is like "I love what you did." I'm like "What?" (I knew full well what she was talking about. How could I not with everyone coming up to me?) She goes, "The post-its." I'm like "It wasn't me."
Jasmine: *gasp* It wasn't you?
Me: No.
Jasmine: Oh my gosh, there's someone else like you in this school? It wasn't you?
Me: It wasn't me.
*big grin*
Jasmine: You're lying.
Me: No I'm not, I'll see you later!
I went to Mr. Fel today to ask him about me denying it. Well, before I get into that, let me tell you why all this denying is going on.
1) Things are cooler when they are mysterious and things are mysterious when people are anonymous.
2) I already like attention. I don't need more direct attention. I'm getting it anyway though -_-'
a. God needs to get the glory, not me.
b. God honors those who do things in secret; not to be heard or seen or recognized
3) I feel that it means more when it comes from a person you do not know. The though is Wow, this person took the time out to do this and he or she doesn't even know me. The message just means more I think.
So those are my reasonings. And I told Fel. He likes the whole post-it idea. He was saying to be undercover for a few days, but when he realized that people were coming to me asking me if I had been the one to do the post-its it said I might as well just accept it. I mean, I felt bad telling all those people it wasn't be. I just kept thinking about how God doesn't like lies. I dunno, we'll see what happens tomorrow. Maybe I won't feel so guilty x) He wants me to update him on what goes on. So we'll see what happens x)
Whoooh! Done! xD Hopefully more will follow tomorrow =D. We shall see :)
Thank you Jesus for blessing me with this ministry! I LOVE YOU!!! <3
~Janell <3
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Locker Post-It Ministry
Sup. Tired but I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible.
So, I've been meaning to do this for a while but today I just did it. I took sticky notes and put encouraging, godly messages on them and stuck them on the lockers (44) in senior hallway. It sounds simple and straightforward and like an easy way to evangelize. But it is not so easy. Some of the feelings I'm feeling right now is anxiety, fear of rejection. I don't know how the students, the seniors no less, will receive the messages on those post-its. And I hope that people don't take down each other's post-its and vandalize them and ruin a good thing. But God, help me to not focus on that. Help me to focus on planting the seed, not the reaction of the people. Encourage my heart Lord and send help; I want every single person in the building to get some sort of message. That is a task, that is ambitious. But nothing is impossible for You. I repeat: Nothing. So help me to take heart that I am serving a greater purpose and am doing Your will. You didn't outright tell me to do this God, but did You have to? I feel that You are saying "Go ahead, do this ministry, but it is not as easy as it seems. You will have to be committed." But God, You are not just leaving things up to me either. You are with me always. Encourage me through the same messages I tell my classmates Lord! And speak through me. Just speak and write Holy Spirit. Your will be done.
So, hopefully I'll get the chance to blog about people's reactions to the post-its. Lord help me.
Amen.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Old About Me
About Me
My name is Rei and I'm a God-lover! I'm a young chica living in the Bronx battling the things of the world. Tough when you live in New York. Anyway, I had a Xanga, but I have a hard time finding active members on the site, so I figured since I have a Google account, might as well make some more use of it. Hmmm... some more about me. My fav. colors are Black and Green. Ice cream: Cookies and Cream, Grapenut. Favorite kind of hair: Natural XD Wanna know anything else about me, send a message =]
My name is Rei and I'm a God-lover! I'm a young chica living in the Bronx battling the things of the world. Tough when you live in New York. Anyway, I had a Xanga, but I have a hard time finding active members on the site, so I figured since I have a Google account, might as well make some more use of it. Hmmm... some more about me. My fav. colors are Black and Green. Ice cream: Cookies and Cream, Grapenut. Favorite kind of hair: Natural XD Wanna know anything else about me, send a message =]
Old Addiction + Strong God = Deliverance
So today I went to the library to get on the computer and deal with scholarship stuff but for some reason, the system would not allow me to sign up. Sometimes, when I go to the library to complete a task and either I finish it quickly or am unable to complete it, I walk over to the manga section and pretend like I am actually looking for something. Like I came to the library for a purpose, not just to see if people are there. And after looking like I have a purpose for a long enough time, I walk away.
But I didn't this time.
Instead, I picked up Nana Vol. 11 (which took forever to get to the library. The collection went from10 to 12 -_-;) and started reading it. I was at the library from 3 until 7:30. I read 3 volumes. 3. No breaks in between.
I left the library and I realized that I'd wasted my time. I spent 4 and a half hours--OHMYGOSH, FOUR AND A HALF HOURS?! Reading MANGAS! And the content was not even edifying. The things in those particular pages were not of God and were not what I should be feeding my mind with. And the plot took a lame direction anyway. You know, I used to think that life outside my manga-anime realm would be so dull and lame. But I started living once I gave it up. I am so glad I'm blogging about this x).
So here's how things used to be.
I wanna say it began when I was around 7. I rediscovered my passion for Sailor Moon and started hanging pictures and idolizing the characters. Then I got really into DBZ again and idolized the characters of other animes like Digimon and Pokemon. I collected pictures I printed out from the library and hung some up on walls. I still have some somewhere. My passion slowed down a little bit in '03/'04, but it was revived when I took a trip down to Florida and met a cousin who was gung-hoe about anime. During that visit I saw Spirited Away and all three Sailor Moon movies. And since then, it's been on fire until around 2008. Even into 2009. I never thought I'd stop being an anime fan. It was my refuge. It is so easy to get lost in an manga.
And the Japanese anime entered my head too. Different scenarios played in my head and I would waste my hours dreaming up alternate scenes to the ones I saw on TV. It was my escape, my outlet. And in a very real way, my god.
I knew something was wrong. I couldn't deny it anymore, no matter how I tried. I tried to suppress my conscience and my gut which were telling me that these things were my idols and that was not right. Only God knows how I got to the place where I am now in terms of my Christian walk with Him. I was so bound and so far from Christ. Like, I believed in Him but I was not willing to give up my lifestyle. At some point, I wanted to change my habit but I felt this was my only getaway, my only outlet. After awhile, I was fantasizing whenever I had free time. It was a distraction that consumed my life.
And then there was a new distraction: Jeremy.
And he consumed my thoughts. And when I went through that painful experience March of 2009, anime couldn't save me. Thoughts of Sesshomaru, Kouga, Ichigo could deliver me. I couldn't bury myself in a manga and be okay. Because when I'd finish that volume, I'd be hit by reality again. God brought me through, God was with me 24/7, God was real. Not a figment of my imagination. I did not even attempt to retreat to my fantasy realm when I was hurt by Jeremy. I'm glad that I knew to run straight to the Father.
So after reading the mangas, I thought "Why am I doing this?" My brother was locked out of the apartment from 3 pm to 7:15 because I was in manga world. I realized what a waste of time it is for me and how much it crowds and clutters my mind. In and of themselves, mangas and anime are not bad. It could be a very positive outlet for some people. But for me, anime is an addictive drug which cannot be handled in moderation.
So what should you take from my story? Anything outside of God is LAME. That's not even the word. It's damaging to the human spirit. And no matter what you are bound by, God can bring you through it. Even if you think that there is nothing better than where you are at now, God will open your eyes. Even if you think that life sucks and will never improve, God will show you how dead wrong you are. I walked out of that library thankful that I delight in Christ and thankful that I am in Him and that I left that life behind. I am so glad I know God!
And you can know Him too.
Take heart! Where there is God, there is hope for a brighter, meaningful, joyful, loving LIFE.
With much love,
Janell
But I didn't this time.
Instead, I picked up Nana Vol. 11 (which took forever to get to the library. The collection went from10 to 12 -_-;) and started reading it. I was at the library from 3 until 7:30. I read 3 volumes. 3. No breaks in between.
I left the library and I realized that I'd wasted my time. I spent 4 and a half hours--OHMYGOSH, FOUR AND A HALF HOURS?! Reading MANGAS! And the content was not even edifying. The things in those particular pages were not of God and were not what I should be feeding my mind with. And the plot took a lame direction anyway. You know, I used to think that life outside my manga-anime realm would be so dull and lame. But I started living once I gave it up. I am so glad I'm blogging about this x).
So here's how things used to be.
I wanna say it began when I was around 7. I rediscovered my passion for Sailor Moon and started hanging pictures and idolizing the characters. Then I got really into DBZ again and idolized the characters of other animes like Digimon and Pokemon. I collected pictures I printed out from the library and hung some up on walls. I still have some somewhere. My passion slowed down a little bit in '03/'04, but it was revived when I took a trip down to Florida and met a cousin who was gung-hoe about anime. During that visit I saw Spirited Away and all three Sailor Moon movies. And since then, it's been on fire until around 2008. Even into 2009. I never thought I'd stop being an anime fan. It was my refuge. It is so easy to get lost in an manga.
And the Japanese anime entered my head too. Different scenarios played in my head and I would waste my hours dreaming up alternate scenes to the ones I saw on TV. It was my escape, my outlet. And in a very real way, my god.
I knew something was wrong. I couldn't deny it anymore, no matter how I tried. I tried to suppress my conscience and my gut which were telling me that these things were my idols and that was not right. Only God knows how I got to the place where I am now in terms of my Christian walk with Him. I was so bound and so far from Christ. Like, I believed in Him but I was not willing to give up my lifestyle. At some point, I wanted to change my habit but I felt this was my only getaway, my only outlet. After awhile, I was fantasizing whenever I had free time. It was a distraction that consumed my life.
And then there was a new distraction: Jeremy.
And he consumed my thoughts. And when I went through that painful experience March of 2009, anime couldn't save me. Thoughts of Sesshomaru, Kouga, Ichigo could deliver me. I couldn't bury myself in a manga and be okay. Because when I'd finish that volume, I'd be hit by reality again. God brought me through, God was with me 24/7, God was real. Not a figment of my imagination. I did not even attempt to retreat to my fantasy realm when I was hurt by Jeremy. I'm glad that I knew to run straight to the Father.
So after reading the mangas, I thought "Why am I doing this?" My brother was locked out of the apartment from 3 pm to 7:15 because I was in manga world. I realized what a waste of time it is for me and how much it crowds and clutters my mind. In and of themselves, mangas and anime are not bad. It could be a very positive outlet for some people. But for me, anime is an addictive drug which cannot be handled in moderation.
So what should you take from my story? Anything outside of God is LAME. That's not even the word. It's damaging to the human spirit. And no matter what you are bound by, God can bring you through it. Even if you think that there is nothing better than where you are at now, God will open your eyes. Even if you think that life sucks and will never improve, God will show you how dead wrong you are. I walked out of that library thankful that I delight in Christ and thankful that I am in Him and that I left that life behind. I am so glad I know God!
And you can know Him too.
Take heart! Where there is God, there is hope for a brighter, meaningful, joyful, loving LIFE.
With much love,
Janell
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
♥ Anniversary ♥
Today is a special day.
1) It's my one year anniversary of creating a Blogger account :D
But more importantly...
ME AND JESUS MAKE THREE YEARS TODAY!
It was three years ago on Good Friday that I went under the water and "married" Christ. I was 15. And God has brought me so far. I remember last year when I couldn't even praise His name. Like, I was sitting in the ACPC room with the CADETS and I couldn't say "Hallelujah." Like, the words physically would not come out of my mouth. Now, I go to Bronx Bethany and I shout out the words. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!! And I'm with people that worship Him in song and life and in words. And they are not afraid to profess their faith. God, help me to tell others about you!
I woke up coughing riduculously this morning (I left the window slightly open and my pink zip-up was zipped down (lol) halfway). So after spitting and coughing and spitting and coughing, I started talking to God. I actually started last night. I read Luke 22:39-46 in Joel Osteen's Hope For Today Bible. I did not intend to read the side note that Joel I assume wrote because I think he focuses too much on the happy-go-lucky, prosperous aspect of Christianity and not the hard-to-follow truths. But you know, Joel has some good things to say. Like, God through Joel helped me to break the addiction of sucking my fingers (that was HARD). And what Joel had to say brought tears to my eyes last night.
I've been "bleh" lately. And maybe part of the reason is because I have not had anything to distract me from myself. I haven't been busy. Things have been weighing me down. Well, not weighing, but hovering over me. The men in my family are not saved. The woman in my family don't trust God fully (not in action; ex. tithing and putting their future in His hands). I feel conflicted and confused and hypocritcal. I still have to go through high school. I have no idea what my future is going to be like. I just feel so empty and blah-zay. That last sentence is probably just 'cause I am bored.
But I do feel conflicted. Like, I feel like I'm two different people. And that happens naturally. I don't try to be two different people; it's effortless. You have the me that I am at home and the me that I am outside. Angry, happy. Impatient, tolerant. Intolerant, giddy and hyper. It bugs me. And I should have more love for my family, not my friends. But that's not the case.
So these conflicting characteristics upset me. If I had a few more negative experiences and some more intense ones, I'd probably have split personality disorder. That's not even a joke. So getting over this is going to be pretty hard. But here's what Joel said:
"There he told them, 'Pray that you will not give in to temptation'" (Luke 22:40).
When Jesus told His disciples to pray about temptation, He didn't say, "Pray that you'll never be tempted." No, we all face temptation. But God says, "When temptation comes, ask Me for help." In any area that you're trying to change, even small things, just simply pray, "God, I'm asking You to help me make the best choice. Help me stay on Your best plan."
Yes, resisting temptation takes effort. It takes discipline. But the benefits far outweigh the work. It's so much worse to live in bondage. It's hard feeling bad about yourself, living below your potential. There is nothing worse than going through the day weighed down by habits that used to be temptations but are now part of your life.
Today you may be struggling with addictions or with your temper or with being impatient. Truthfully, you may have given up the struggle. Now you are dragging around in mediocrity, allowing something so small to control you. Let me tell you what you already know---you are better than that. You're a child of the Most High God. You have His royal blood flowing through your veins. Don't you dare just sit back and settle where you are. There is not an obstacle in your life that you cannot overcome, large or small. It doesn't matter if it's a critical spirit or if you're addicted to cocaine, the Power that's in you is greater than the power that's trying to hold you back. Dig your heels in and fight the good fight of faith. Don't let that thing master you. Keep the attitude, "That's it. I'm not staying where I am. I'm coming up higher. I know I'm better than this. God has a much better life for me to live."
I believe that God was definitely speaking to me through Joel. God's going to help me get through. And I know He will, because He's done it before. I couldn't praise Him last year; I can praise Him now. Last year, I had low self-esteem. A year later, thanks to Him, it's higher. I know that I deserve better. I don't know when the God in me will overcome the negative power holding me back. But I know it will happen. It will happen.
Thank you Jesus. Thank you so much. And I pray that I will not stop praising You and glorifying Your name and giving You thanks and living a life that honors YOU. May We keep on going for another three years and I pray that three years from now, this issue will be behind me, desposited in the Well of Experience and that the lessons I learn will be deposited in the Well of Wisdom. Help me to pray for Your help when I am tempted Lord so that I do not give in to sin. And help me to respect those who You have put in place to shepherd Your people.
Amen.
Astrology
Janell Salmon Werid dreams. 1. Mr. Philp, crippled beyond belief. 2. Dreamt Crazy For You again. We were gonna re-enact the musical numbers in my church (-_____-'''''). 3. Ms. Basler and Mrs. Santiago-Borges were teachers together and they taught biology. We were sticking small frogs in test tubes. Do dreams reflect the sanity of a person??
About 12:45 pm
Aliya Brown
you can check the things you remember on myjellybean.com. under astrology, use the dream dictionary :) i always do lol
About 1 pm
Janell Salmon
lol, thanks for the tip girlie.
About 2 pm
Roschelle McKenzie
Um Janell, do not go looking up any astrology my dear.... that is not the answer... please don't even go there. Thank you; love you!
Soon after
Didn't think that very kind of Roschelle to say. I deleted the comment as soon I saw it. I did click on the website out of curiosity. The page wouldn't come up anyway. But seriously? Me and astrology? I think it is foolish. That a man looks at the stars and predicts the future. All people born between two different dates can't possibly have the same characteristics. Culture, experience, upbringing, personal choice---these things characterize a person. For me, Aries is a cool thing to rep. And I can see why horoscopes attract and draw people in. But when you live by it and swear by it and look to the stars instead of to God, there is a problem. This is what I wrote to Roschelle:
I do not believe in astrology and I am quite aware that it is wrong. I just said that to be nice.
Toodles.
~Edit~
Roschelle Salmon-Mckenzie April 6 at 2:24pm
LOL!!! Oh thank Jesus! You know I love you, girl!
Janell Salmon April 6 at 2:36pm
lol. You seem relieved.
Roschelle Salmon-Mckenzie April 6 at 3:45pm
lol! Its just that the WORLD packages witchcraft so attractively and our youth are being decieved. ex. Harry Potter, Daily Horoscopes, Twilight. etc... My discernment is extremely high when it comes to certain things, and I just wanted to make sure that you are okay. That's all.......I know; that was a mouthful! :-)
Janell Salmon April 6 at 4:13pm
lol, I gotcha
-__-
About 12:45 pm
Aliya Brown
you can check the things you remember on myjellybean.com. under astrology, use the dream dictionary :) i always do lol
About 1 pm
Janell Salmon
lol, thanks for the tip girlie.
About 2 pm
Roschelle McKenzie
Um Janell, do not go looking up any astrology my dear.... that is not the answer... please don't even go there. Thank you; love you!
Soon after
Didn't think that very kind of Roschelle to say. I deleted the comment as soon I saw it. I did click on the website out of curiosity. The page wouldn't come up anyway. But seriously? Me and astrology? I think it is foolish. That a man looks at the stars and predicts the future. All people born between two different dates can't possibly have the same characteristics. Culture, experience, upbringing, personal choice---these things characterize a person. For me, Aries is a cool thing to rep. And I can see why horoscopes attract and draw people in. But when you live by it and swear by it and look to the stars instead of to God, there is a problem. This is what I wrote to Roschelle:
I do not believe in astrology and I am quite aware that it is wrong. I just said that to be nice.
Toodles.
~Edit~
Roschelle Salmon-Mckenzie April 6 at 2:24pm
LOL!!! Oh thank Jesus! You know I love you, girl!
Janell Salmon April 6 at 2:36pm
lol. You seem relieved.
Roschelle Salmon-Mckenzie April 6 at 3:45pm
lol! Its just that the WORLD packages witchcraft so attractively and our youth are being decieved. ex. Harry Potter, Daily Horoscopes, Twilight. etc... My discernment is extremely high when it comes to certain things, and I just wanted to make sure that you are okay. That's all.......I know; that was a mouthful! :-)
Janell Salmon April 6 at 4:13pm
lol, I gotcha
-__-
Monday, April 5, 2010
The Sound Of Music
Georg Von Trapp's 130th birthday was yesterday. So close to mine! >.<
So yesterday, I watched the Sound Of Music on ABC Family (which is TERRIBLE with the commercials btw). And I came to the realization that it is my favorite musical xD I haven't seen that movie in a while and it was just awesome to remember the songs and say things like "I remember this part!" and predict lines and such. It was great.
I remember learning in the fifth grade that the Sound Of Music was based on a true story. So about a half hour ago, I looked up the von Trapp family and discovered that the Sound Of Music is so loosely based on the true life of the von Trapp family that its as if it's a whole different story. Here are some interesting things I found out (found on the http://www.archives.gov/publications/prologue/2005/winter/von-trapps.html website):
So yesterday, I watched the Sound Of Music on ABC Family (which is TERRIBLE with the commercials btw). And I came to the realization that it is my favorite musical xD I haven't seen that movie in a while and it was just awesome to remember the songs and say things like "I remember this part!" and predict lines and such. It was great.
I remember learning in the fifth grade that the Sound Of Music was based on a true story. So about a half hour ago, I looked up the von Trapp family and discovered that the Sound Of Music is so loosely based on the true life of the von Trapp family that its as if it's a whole different story. Here are some interesting things I found out (found on the http://www.archives.gov/publications/prologue/2005/winter/von-trapps.html website):
- Maria came to the von Trapp family in 1926 as a tutor for one of the children, Maria, who was recovering from scarlet fever, not as governess to all the children.
- Maria and Georg married in 1927, 11 years before the family left Austria, not right before the Nazi takeover of Austria.
- Maria did not marry Georg von Trapp because she was in love with him. As she said in her autobiography Maria, she fell in love with the children at first sight, not their father. When he asked her to marry him, she was not sure if she should abandon her religious calling but was advised by the nuns to do God's will and marry Georg. "I really and truly was not in love. I liked him but didn't love him. However, I loved the children, so in a way I really married the children. . . . [B]y and by I learned to love him more than I have ever loved before or after."
- There were 10, not 7 von Trapp children. (Janell - 7 were with Georg's first wife and 3 were with Georg's second wife Maria).
- The names, ages, and sexes of the children were changed. (Janell - I find this interesting).
- The family was musically inclined before Maria arrived, but she did teach them to sing madrigals. (Janell - Madrigals are songs unaccompanied by musical instruments and sung with a small number of voices. (Don't believe me? Look it up :3))
- Georg, far from being the detached, cold-blooded patriarch of the family who disapproved of music, as portrayed in the first half of The Sound of Music, was actually a gentle, warmhearted parent who enjoyed musical activities with his family. While this change in his character might have made for a better story in emphasizing Maria's healing effect on the von Trapps, it distressed his family greatly.
- The family did not secretly escape over the Alps to freedom in Switzerland, carrying their suitcases and musical instruments. As daughter Maria said in a 2003 interview printed in Opera News, "We did tell people that we were going to America to sing. And we did not climb over mountains with all our heavy suitcases and instruments. We left by train, pretending nothing."
- The von Trapps traveled to Italy, not Switzerland. Georg was born in Zadar (now in Croatia), which at that time was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Zadar became part of Italy in 1920, and Georg was thus an Italian citizen, and his wife and children as well. The family had a contract with an American booking agent when they left Austria. They contacted the agent from Italy and requested fare to America.
- Instead of the fictional Max Detweiler, pushy music promoter, the von Trapps' priest, the Reverend Franz Wasner, acted as their musical director for over 20 years.
- Though she was a caring and loving person, Maria wasn't always as sweet as the fictional Maria. She tended to erupt in angry outbursts consisting of yelling, throwing things, and slamming doors. Her feelings would immediately be relieved and good humor restored, while other family members, particularly her husband, found it less easy to recover. In her 2003 interview, the younger Maria confirmed that her stepmother "had a terrible temper. . . . And from one moment to the next, you didn't know what hit her. We were not used to this. But we took it like a thunderstorm that would pass, because the next minute she could be very nice."
All of this was just so interesting to discover! I invite you to read about them, their story is so interesting! Okay, I know I keep using that word but that word describes their story precisely.
I was a little bit disappointed that the Sound Of Music portrayed the lives of the real von Trapp family so inaccurately. But independent of the real von Trapp family's history, it is an excellent musical. The movie was released in 1965, and it is still revered today. 45 years later! And though in the opinion of Johannes von Trapp , one of the children, the "'Sound of Music' simplifies everything," it did speak to some real issues. For example, the song I Have Confidence speaks about having confidence in oneself even when faced with a challenge. Sixteen Going on Seventeen gives insight on love. The reprise to the song gives wise words of wisdom. Climb Every Mountain speaks about always following one's dream. Something Good is just an awesome love song. And the history of the time period, though inaccurate with the 1960s hairstyles and costumes, is not completely ignored. It is acknowledged that the Nazis were taking over Austria and that was a significant part of one theme in the musical. The theme of following one's heart and adhering to God's will and what is right. I am so defensive of this musical. Though flawed, it was absolutely beautiful. But I do look forward to eventually reading Maria von Trapp (the mother)'s book The Story of the Trapp Family Singers. I want to know about their history and their experiences. It is amazing to see how unlike their story is to the characters and plot of the Sound Of Music. Again, I invite you to read a snippet of their history at http://www.archives.gov/publications/prologue/2005/winter/von-trapps.html.
Auf Wiedersehen Adieu!
Birthday wishes! (Blog written over the span of three days: 4/4,4/5, and 4/6)
Aigh! I've never had so many Facebook notifications in my life! That's what birthdays do xD So, Luis is flippin' awesome. I love that guy. Reading his comments made me smile so damn hard. So, I was going to post all the birthday comments up, but everything is pasted all jumbled and there are too many birthday posts to sort through. I already had to thank them all (and that was a task). So here are the meaningful ones. I'll start with Luis's:
Luis Tomas Graveley Jr. So today is saturday. and that means that its your birthday =D. but im not gona say happy bday =). Ima just thank God that you were born 18years ago this day =p 4/3/10 12:12am
Janell Salmon AWWWWW! I am so smiling right now! Thank you Lu!
4/3/10 12:16am
Luis Tomas Graveley Jr. Awww well i always know what to say =). and anytime Janell
4/3/10 12:21am
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Luis Tomas Graveley Jr. Its Janell's birthday today. Everyone better wish her i happy birthday or i will go Wolverine on all of your behinds
4/3/10 12:22am
You like this.
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Luis Tomas Graveley Jr. Ok so on the day of your birth they decide to give Purple Rain, The Indian in the Cupboard, and the Little Rascals.. can i vot this the best day EVER?
4/3/10 1:23pm
Misaell Sanchez likes this.
Janell Salmon Lol. No idea what the Indian in the Cupboard is or Purple Rain and I never saw Little Rascals but THANK YOU love xD ♥
4/3/10 3:37pm
Luis Tomas Graveley Jr. Omg. Did u have a childhood? Lol jk
4/3/10 4:50pm
Janell Salmon lol, I did, but one filled with Sesame Street and Arthur xD
4/3/10 9:25pm
Misaell Sanchez little rascals won the misa best movie ever award indian in the cupboard always made little boys wonder what happened if our toys ever talked to us purple rain is sex
4/3/10 9:27pm
Janell Salmon lol! Thanks for letting me in Misa xD 4/4/10 2:46pm
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Janell Salmon Thanks for all the birthday wishes guys! Special thanks to Luis Tomas Graveley Jr. and Natasha Culpepper for pouring out the love! Ily you guys! 4/3/10 10:09pm
Natasha Culpepper likes this.
Luis Tomas Graveley Jr. awwww Janell any time. your my sidekick =). the Robin to my batman, the jelly to my peanut butter, the butthead to my beavis =), the Jesus to my Christianity ( i know u like tht one ) lol
4/3/10 10:11pm
Kamal Williams stay golden, janell. happy bday
4/3/10 10:24pm
Janell Salmon LOL! Oh yeah, I got a poem out of you! xD Thanks Kamal!
4/4/10 2:12pm
Kamal Williams that what im here for. hopefully yesterday was everything you wanted it to be and more.
4/4/10 6:26pm
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lol! I just discovered this one! xD
Luis Tomas Graveley Jr. WHOEVER IS WATCHING TELEVISION VH1 IS GIVING PURPLE RAIN. PURPLE RAIN. PURPLE RAIN. JANELL YOUR BIRTHDAY IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE THE GREATEST DAY EVER 4/3/10 12:33am ___________________________________________________
lol, so that was all Luis. I asked him to pour out the love this week and he sure did! Thanks dude! Here are some others:
Jolle Thomas this is an EXTRAORDINARY day TWO of my favorite people were born on this today my Beautiful niece Cadence and my incredibly Gorgeous and Talented Actress, Singer, Dancer and Spiritually Inspirational Friend Janell Salmon !!!!! LOve you guys soo Much ♥ 4/3/10 11:56pm
Tiffany Gordon and Laze Skepi like this.
Janell Salmon THANK YOU JOLLE! 4/4/10 2:15pm Jolle Thomas You welcome JAnell!!! Around 2am 4/5/10
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Jolle Thomas Janell My Love!!!! HAppy 18th Birthday Sister. Have a spectacular day sweetie. I hope I see you soon. 4/4/10 12:04am Janell Salmon Me too! Thanks so much Jolle! ♥ 4/4/10 2:17pm
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Roschelle Salmon-Mckenzie Happy Birthday lil Sis! You are developing into such a beautiful young lady. I wish you nothing but God's best in this new year of your life! Enjoy it to the max! Love you...
4/3/10 10:00pm
Janell Salmon Thank you sista! xD 4/4/10 2:18pm ___________________________________________________
Ricky Aries Salmon HAPPY BIRTH STRONG MI SISTA ;) Wish u many more.
4/3/10 9:50pm
Janell Salmon Gracias sir x)
4/4/10 2:18pm
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Jescine Jarvis I know I'm super late -- been out all day-- but happy birthday Janell. May the Lord continue to guide and bless you with a million more. ;)
4/3/10 9:10pm
Janell Salmon Thank you Jescine!
4/4/10 2:20pm
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Alisha Bethea Happpyyyyy bdayyyy janell, I hope u have a wonder bday . May God bless& best wishes :)
4/3/10 8:23pm
Janell Salmon Thanks Alisha!
4/4/10 2:20pm
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Melissa Noemi Pellerano wishes a very happy birthday to Janell Salmon, Camille Prete, Joanie Bradford, Robert Gonzalez, and Trevor Ramjit. May you be filled with many more years. God bless.
4/3/10 7:44pm
Janell Salmon lol, that's a lot of birthdays xD Thanks chica! ♥
4/3/10 9:24pm
Joanie Bradford thank you ;) 4/4/10 12:00am ___________________________________________________
Enzo Morello Happyyy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4/3/10 7:12pm
Janell Salmon Thanks Enzo! ♥
4/4/10 2:52pm
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Chenel Coco HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELLY!!!! I hope For you to see many many more!!!! and God bless you!!! HapPY birTHday!!!! =]
4/3/10 7:08pm
Janell Salmon Thank you Chenel! ♥
4/4/10 2:51pm
Chenel Coco your welcome janell!! =] ♥
Around 1am 4/5/10
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Ryan McConville HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL!!! ILY ♥
4/3/10 6:40pm
Janell Salmon Thank you Ryan! ILY you too! And IMY so much! >.<
4/4/10 2:36pm
Ryan McConville
awwwwwwwwi misss you toooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
awwwwwwwwi misss you toooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Around 2pm 4/6/10
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Jocelyn Perry-Bing Happy Birthday Senior. I'm gonna miss you next year :(
4/3/10 5:37pm
Janell Salmon I'm gonna miss you too! But I'll visit all the time. Thanks girlie =)
4/4/10 2:26pm
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Mark Princeglobal Lewis Happy Birthday Janell Hope you have a good one, may blessings love Mark lol
4/3/10 2:00pm
Janell Salmon Thank you Mark! I miss you!
4/4/10 2:50pm
Mark Princeglobal Lewis Miss You Too Janell
4/4/10 3:35pm
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Mariah Biolsi-Vasquez Bailey Happy birthday janell !!! Iloveeyouuuu & have fun beinq legal hehe :D x3 !!
4/3/10 1:56pm
Janell Salmon Thanks chica! I think it's funny that you put "hehe" when you know I'm not gonna do anything xD ily ♥
4/4/10 2:50pm
Mariah Biolsi-Vasquez Bailey Ily2 (: x3 4/4/10 2:51pm ___________________________________________________
Kerii Phillip JANELLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I misss you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH ! I Hope you are enjoying your amazing day so far. Don't let anyone ruin your day && May God bless you on ur beedayyy, another yearr that your are in the land of the living! =)
4/3/10 1:27pm
Janell Salmon Thank you Keri! I miss you too, hope you're having fun in Italy!
4/4/10 2:48pm
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Nati Elle Happy happy happy birthdayy! Iloveyouu ♥ Keep being your amazing self and make this a wonderful year
4/3/10 1:23pm
Janell Salmon Thank you so much Nati! ♥ ♥
4/4/10 2:45pm
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Ashley Antwi HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL I am paying 70£ to type this to you...oohhh I'm soooo buying you a gift from here!
4/3/10 1:20pm
Ashley Antwi the was 0,70£ by the way now it's 1,20£ just think of it as a $1.20
4/3/10 1:23pm
Kerii Phillip LMAOO!!! me toooo, we are actually right next to each other!! hahahahaha =) ilyy! 4/3/10 1:27pm
Ashley Antwi LOL KERISha is a loserrrrr!! tehe jk ilym janell!
4/3/10 1:31pm
Janell Salmon AWWWW! You guys are spending expensive European currency! ILY guys ♥ xD 4/3/10 9:26pm
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Luke Benjamin oh snizzy!!!! happy birthday!! i hope u have many more!!! too bad there's no service today so we can give you your punches
4/3/10 12:44pm
Janell Salmon Thanks Luke! I WISH there was service today! Can't think of a better way to spend the birthday than with the Misfits!
4/3/10 10:01pm
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Bejeika Mary-Jane Matthew Happy birthday sal!!!! Now theres four of you too old to be in DJBRAAT lol. Have fun
4/3/10 12:35pm
Janell Salmon lol, thanks chica! imy
4/3/10 9:59pm
Bejeika Mary-Jane Matthew Imy too ♥
4/4/10 5:57pm
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Robert Gonzalez Happy birthday sis i hope u have awonderful and blessed birthday.
4/3/10 11:32am
Janell Salmon Thanks bro! 4/3/10 9:55pm ___________________________________________________
Tara McD HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D
4/3/10 11:22am
Janell Salmon THANK YOU TARA!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 4/3/10 9:55pm ___________________________________________________
Brandon-George Leach Arrivederci HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL AND I HOPE YOU GET THE SCHOOL ACCEPTANCE LETTER TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥
4/3/10 10:20am
Janell Salmon THANK YOU BRANDON! XD 4/3/10 9:52pm ___________________________________________________
Nicolette Rosa HAPPY ENTRY INTO THE WORLD DAY! ENJOY IT!
4/3/10 9:56am
Janell Salmon lol! I like that xD Thanks Nicolette!
4/3/10 9:50pm
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Steph Derfy Opper HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL!!!!!! ♥ GOD BLESS YOU!!!! ♥
4/3/10 9:56am
Janell Salmon THANK YOU OPPER! ♥
4/3/10 9:49pm
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Shanná Shanagana Bhagan ♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :D i hopee you havee a good day because you're a FREAKING AMAZINGGGG personnnn & you deservee itttt ♥ (:
4/3/10 9:47am
Janell Salmon Thank you chica! I appreciate it! ♥
4/3/10 9:48pm
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Zarinah Alyse Happpppppppppppppy Birthday. I hope you enjoy yourself love, and this year is one of the greatest you ever had. :)
4/3/10 9:33am
Janell Salmon Girl, I hope so too! Thank you!
4/3/10 9:47pm
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Joe Rivera It is your birthday.
4/3/10 9:23am
Janell Salmon Yes sir, yes it is =p
4/3/10 9:47pm
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Jonathan Ayala JANPANLAN!!! HAPPY BDAY!
4/3/10 8:55am
Janell Salmon THANKS JONATHAN! XD
4/3/10 9:46pm
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Michelle Henderson Happy Birthday Janell sweetheat, I hope you enjoy your day to the fullest!! 4/3/10 3:49am
Janell Salmon Gracias Michelle!
4/3/10 9:38pm
Michelle Henderson No problem just hope you enjoyed your day!!
4/4/10 2:17am
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Dontae Lewis HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL,
4/3/10 1:50am
Janell Salmon Aight, I get it! xD Thank you dude.
4/3/10 9:36pm
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Henry Victor Happy b day Shoes!!
4/3/10 1:17am
4/3/10 1:17am
Janell Salmon lol, thank you Henry ♥
4/3/10 9:33pm
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Ayanna Williams YAY its my twin's birthday! its the best day everrrrrr! I hope u enjoy this wonderful day girl and the many more that are to come!
4/3/10 1:12am
Janell Salmon Thanks chica! Ily ♥
4/4/10 9:32pm
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Jaleesa Glover SO ITS MY EMMAUS BABY BIRHTDAY!!!! YAYY!!! LOL HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANELL I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY AND SPEND IT WITH THOSE YOU LOVE THE MOST....I LOVE YOU AND SO DOES JESUS! LOL ENJOY IT! ♥ LXXV
4/3/10 12:59am
Janell Salmon Yay! Jesus loves me! He loves you too xD Thank you Jaleesa! ♥
4/3/10 9:31pm
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Sasha Davis Happy Birthday hope you enjoy every second of it..God Bless and wishin you many more to come
4/3/10 12:49am
Janell Salmon Thanks girlie!
4/3/10 9:30pm
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Misaell Sanchez HAPPY BDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4/3/10 12:22am
Janell Salmon THANK YOU MISA! =D
4/3/10 12:24am
Misaell Sanchez I WISH U HAVE THE BESTEST DAY EVER!!
4/3/10 12:28am
Janell Salmon I will try my bestest xD
4/3/10 12:33am
Misaell Sanchez =D awsome! 4/3/10 1:15am ___________________________________________________
Convo turned birthday wish xD
I started off with something like "Hey girl! What's up, it's been a minute!"
Jenay Harley I kno it has...everything is good...wats happenin with u...missy...
4/3/10 12:19am
Janell Salmon I'm coolies, life is aight. Graduation is riiiiight around the corner.
4/3/10 12:22am
Jenay Harley It really is...time goes by real fast u know....
4/3/10 12:28am
Janell Salmon WORD! I can't believe we're seniors! >.<
4/3/10 12:32am
Jenay Harley And someone is 18 today....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
4/3/10 12:40am
Janell Salmon Thanks girl! 4/5/10 ___________________________________________________
Christina Rose Ellison Happy Birthday!!! Have a great day, you deserve it!! =D
4/3/10 12:13am
Janell Salmon Thank you Cristina! ♥
4/3/10 12:19am
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Angelique Natasha Jones Rivera-Bylicky The Salmon's legal? Omg =O!!!! Lol hope you have a great bday darling!
4/3/10 12:10am
Janell Salmon lol! Thank you Angie! x)
4/3/10 12:15am
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Joanie Bradford ahhhh its our birthday ! ♥ love you girl have fun !
4/3/10 12:06am
Janell Salmon Whoop whoop! Thank you! You have a hot day too xD
4/3/10 12:13am
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Brian Rivera Bylicky Jones OMG IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!! May God bless you on your special day!! =]
4/3/10 12:06am
Janell Salmon Awwww! Thank you Brian! ILY ♥ 4/3/10 12:12am
Brian Rivera Bylicky Jones ily2 ^.^ ♥ 4/3/10 12:12am ___________________________________________________
This "Donovan Jetson" is Donovan Samuels.
Donovan Jetson Happy birthday janell !
4/2/10 7:23pm
Janell Salmon lol, a lil early, but thanks dude :)
4/2/10 7:50pm
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Malcolm Smiley April 3 at 11:36pm JANELL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! "yea my facebook is acted up it wont let post lol"
Janell Salmon April 4 at 2:11pm Thank you Smiley! Most people would give up, but thanks for sending a message =)
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Natasha Culpepper HAPPY BIRFFDAAAYY!! did you get your surprise yet? :D
4/3/10 1:25pm
Janell Salmon Thanks girlie! I did not, but I'm looking forward to it x)
4/3/10 3:39pm
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Well those were all the FB messages that I thought were most meaningful/interesting. And I cannot sign off this blog failing to explain the AWESOME thing that Natasha Culpepper did.
SHE SENT ME A CARD! A MAX LUCADO CARD!
For those of you who do not know who Max Lucado is, he an awesome, poetic, inspirational dude. Like, his words really help you to see the depth of God's love. Some of his lines:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
And he has books like that with nothing but sayings that demonstrate God's love. The one Natasha showed me last year is God Thinks You're WONDERFUL. I bought it for Nicky for her birthday. Anyway Natasha, since you're on Blogger now, I just want to say to you,
THANK YOU! X)
And thanks to all others for the thoughts, prayers, and the wishes for a good year. Much appreciated!
~Nelly
SHE SENT ME A CARD! A MAX LUCADO CARD!
For those of you who do not know who Max Lucado is, he an awesome, poetic, inspirational dude. Like, his words really help you to see the depth of God's love. Some of his lines:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
And he has books like that with nothing but sayings that demonstrate God's love. The one Natasha showed me last year is God Thinks You're WONDERFUL. I bought it for Nicky for her birthday. Anyway Natasha, since you're on Blogger now, I just want to say to you,
THANK YOU! X)
And thanks to all others for the thoughts, prayers, and the wishes for a good year. Much appreciated!
~Nelly
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~Edit~
Ashley Sampson omg your 18 now.. now you could actually put your face up on the internet.. arent you happy lol??.. surprised i remembered right?
4/5/10 2:49pm
Janell Salmon
*smiling* Glad you did! xD Yeah, it's pretty cool, but now that I have the chance to I'm just like whatever.
4/5/10 6:26pm
Ashley Sampson
lol ok it's your chioce
4/6/10 2:15pm
4/5/10 2:49pm
Janell Salmon
*smiling* Glad you did! xD Yeah, it's pretty cool, but now that I have the chance to I'm just like whatever.
4/5/10 6:26pm
Ashley Sampson
lol ok it's your chioce
4/6/10 2:15pm
More Food For Thought
Was viewing random blogs and I stumbled upon this fable..yeah, I guess you could call it a fable. Found this on http://spittersmusings.blogspot.com/.
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.
He said, "My boy, the fight is between two wolves."
That certainly got the boy's attention.
"One is evil," the old man continued. "Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."
"What of the other, grandfather?" the boy asked.
"The other is good," he said. "Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Compassion and Faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Do we all have such wolves fighting inside us, grandfather?"
"Yes," the wise old man said.
"Then, which wolf wins the fight?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Food For Thought.
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.
He said, "My boy, the fight is between two wolves."
That certainly got the boy's attention.
"One is evil," the old man continued. "Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."
"What of the other, grandfather?" the boy asked.
"The other is good," he said. "Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Compassion and Faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Do we all have such wolves fighting inside us, grandfather?"
"Yes," the wise old man said.
"Then, which wolf wins the fight?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Food For Thought.
Friday, April 2, 2010
17 No More
My last few hours as a seventeen-year-old. It's been pretty wild. 17 is the age when I discovered Bronx Bethany. The age when I was part of the cast of Crazy For You. The age when I went on Emmaus. The age when I went on my first March For Life. My first college course. The age where I learned how to praise God. The age when I fell in love with my dream college on the college tour. The age when I applied to that dream college. The age where I was rejected by that dream college. Ah boy. The age when me and Antwi got together with friends to have this awesome bowling party at New Roc. The age where I forgave my betrayers. The age where Luis and I threw a Haiti Benefit. The age when I discovered I want to be a missionary. Age when I met Sandino. Age when I started planning my wedding. Age when I got a cell phone that lasted two months (March and April baby! xD). Age when I got hooked on the Seeker (that show is freaking AMAZING!!! *heart* *heart* *heart*). Age when I insulted Nicky to the point where she moved out. Age when my Afro got super cool. Year when I became known as the Jesus girl. Age when I fell even more in love with Jesus. Age when I became the President of the Gospel Choir, Treasurer of the Student Government, and Secretary of the Band. Age when I read on the announcements at school for the first time. Age when I did Drama Monologue for the first time. I believe even the age when I got my eyebrows threaded for the first time (NEVER AGAIN!). Age when I met Dylan. Age when I got to know Papa P and see how cool he is. Age (part of 16 too) when I made the Chapel my own. Age when I led the singing that one time at the Emmaus mass not many people showed up to. Age when I had/have this crush on this guy who is SO unavailable and SO not right (see a few entries down about that guy who is "permanently off the market" xD). Age when I discovered Gospel For Asia and K.P. Yohannan's powerful story. The age when I tried out for Gospel For Teens. Age when I got into Binghamton. Age when I decided to attempt to wish everyone on Facebook a happy birthday whenever it'd come around. Age when I got a Blogger =D Age when me and Jesus made 2 years. Age when I tried out for the Talent Show and made it. Age when God showed me that I have to desire Him and Him alone. Age when He showed me that a boyfriend is not what I need right now. Age when I saw that there is no one attainable around anyway who is spiritually on my level. Age when I decided "I'm going to do this every year; list the memorable things that happened that year xD. Age when I found Jorden Bac on Facebook after looking at old Xanga blogs. Age when the Band Homeroom was established. Age, perhaps, when I entered the Cardinal Spellman Room (or maybe that was 16?).
Gosh, so much happened in a year! And this year was amazing; I had so many opportunities to do so many things. And the list can go on forever. I feel like it's already really long xD.Ah wow. God, may 18 be just as memorable. The best hasn't even come yet! Ooowee, I wonder what next year's list will be like? It's definitely gonna be long. Aigh, thanks Jesus. Thank You so much. For EVERYthing. ESPECIALLY for dying for me. But that's another story.
Goodbye 17. Hello legality xD
Gosh, so much happened in a year! And this year was amazing; I had so many opportunities to do so many things. And the list can go on forever. I feel like it's already really long xD.Ah wow. God, may 18 be just as memorable. The best hasn't even come yet! Ooowee, I wonder what next year's list will be like? It's definitely gonna be long. Aigh, thanks Jesus. Thank You so much. For EVERYthing. ESPECIALLY for dying for me. But that's another story.
Goodbye 17. Hello legality xD
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Emotional Pit Of Yuck
There is so much anger in me right now. I'm just UPSET. I mean, not getting into my top school is already enough to deal with. But then having to go to a church that just makes me vex and then to be bugged by my parents with questions they should know the answers to already either because they are obvious or because I've repeated myself so many times, does not help my mood. I am just in an emotional pit of yuck. And it annoys me when I am trying to get over the fact that I did not get into my dream school and I get these lame words that go "blah blah blah blah blah blah something something things will work out blah blah Obama did not go to an IVY League school for his undergraduate education." I am not upset about that! Urgh, I'm going to read this a few months from now probably be like "Oh my gosh, what is/was/whatever wrong with me?" But I am in such a rage! My church home is not catered to my 17-almost-18-year-old teenage needs. I have to put on this face, this mask and I gotta be fake. I HATE IT! And to be in a rage over that on top of something which is really not making your afternoon... April Fools Day is a really bad day to find out what schools accepted you. Me especially. 18th birthday is in 2 days and I feel like CRAP. God, you are gonna have to talk to me extensively. I'm hard-headed, confused, angry, upset, lost, discouraged, all this crap. I don't know where you want me to go. The next best thing, Binghamton, is in the suburbs (YUCK!), I've never been there, I have no idea how I'll get up there-UGH! Whatever!
AAAAHHH!!!
I AM SO SCARED!!!!! I am about to check whether or not I have been admitted to the University of Pennsylvania. Jesus PLEASE! I am so scared and so doubtful right now! But You are God. And You know where I am supposed to go. If I do not get into UPenn, it's because You don't want me there. You have bigger things for me. Help me to truly know that God and absolutely trust in Your will for my life. Oh God, help me. I can't say anymore. Please just help me. Amen.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Jeremy
lol! So it is like 4 in the morning and I'm here reading old posts. These are the things I notice:
1) I never follow up with posts when I say I'm going to. I mention things, say I'll expand on them later, then never do. Gotta work on that xD
2) The founding posts of this blog had a lot to do with Jeremy. A lot of these posts have to do with Jeremy. And it is so interesting to see where we are now and compare it to how we used to be and how I thought our friendship would be at different points in the past year. At one point I though we would never again be friends. At another, I thought things would be restored. I am so distant from that desire now, to be his friend again. The only way he benefited me was through a negative experience. And I called him best friend. Silly me.
And it's so funny because I'm reading all of these posts and laughing at the irony of everything. How we are now and how I thought we would be. It's the complete opposite. Our friendship, if you can even call it that, will die once we graduate. Unless God in His unpredictableness does something, which is quite possible. And to tell you the truth, I'm still waiting for Him to do something. Still waiting for some miracle. Because of what I believe He told me in the chapel (see Thursday, October 15, 2009 entry I really should be doing my AP English essay right now...).That event was too timely to be a coincidence. So I'm still waiting. Who knows what God'll do? Nobody. So I'm not yet shutting the door, because you never know what will happen. Just this time, I'm not making the effort to reach out to him. If God wants something to happen, God's going to have to do it. Which is how it should be anyway.
These entries are too funny. I love looking back and reading old entries and realizing how much I've grown. I love remembering how I used to think and kinda of looking at myself from an objective viewpoint. Seeing who I was a few months ago, a year ago. It's pretty cool. Another effect of reading these entries though is that I really want the people who I've written about to read these entries. For Jeremy to read these entries! That would be so funny! xD Like, he'd realize that his actions actually affected somebody; I don't think he realizes that. Man, if he were to ever read this blog, it'd be an honor. He be forced to look at himself. No, I lie. He could very well stop reading whenever he wanted to. But you know, maybe we haven't talked because God hasn't shown me what the topic is supposed to be. I want to tell this kid about himself and I have my way of doing it; listing things off that might not make him a better person but will just make him feel like crap. I highly doubt that is God's intention. I still have a lot of things I need to let go of. Like, I don't care about him in the same way I used to and it's caused me to be quite insensitive towards him. I make a lot of snippy comments and give him the "Ryan treatment" (lol) and it's not cool. It sucks that I have to feel a way about him to treat him with kindness. It should be "I am a Christian; God told be to be kind so I am going to be kind." I want to act despite my feelings. Lord, do it!
So who knows where we'll end up? All I know is that I've got this one puzzle piece of a million piece puzzle; God's got the boxtop with the whole picture. He knows what He's doing.
Do Your thing God, do Your thing.
~Nelly
And Jeremy, if you are reading this right now, I want you to know that I genuinely do not hate you. My experiences with you have taught me a lot about myself and have caused me to draw closer to God. Thanks. And though I have said all of these things, I still love you as a fellow brother in Christ. Much love dude.
~Insignia
1) I never follow up with posts when I say I'm going to. I mention things, say I'll expand on them later, then never do. Gotta work on that xD
2) The founding posts of this blog had a lot to do with Jeremy. A lot of these posts have to do with Jeremy. And it is so interesting to see where we are now and compare it to how we used to be and how I thought our friendship would be at different points in the past year. At one point I though we would never again be friends. At another, I thought things would be restored. I am so distant from that desire now, to be his friend again. The only way he benefited me was through a negative experience. And I called him best friend. Silly me.
And it's so funny because I'm reading all of these posts and laughing at the irony of everything. How we are now and how I thought we would be. It's the complete opposite. Our friendship, if you can even call it that, will die once we graduate. Unless God in His unpredictableness does something, which is quite possible. And to tell you the truth, I'm still waiting for Him to do something. Still waiting for some miracle. Because of what I believe He told me in the chapel (see Thursday, October 15, 2009 entry I really should be doing my AP English essay right now...).That event was too timely to be a coincidence. So I'm still waiting. Who knows what God'll do? Nobody. So I'm not yet shutting the door, because you never know what will happen. Just this time, I'm not making the effort to reach out to him. If God wants something to happen, God's going to have to do it. Which is how it should be anyway.
These entries are too funny. I love looking back and reading old entries and realizing how much I've grown. I love remembering how I used to think and kinda of looking at myself from an objective viewpoint. Seeing who I was a few months ago, a year ago. It's pretty cool. Another effect of reading these entries though is that I really want the people who I've written about to read these entries. For Jeremy to read these entries! That would be so funny! xD Like, he'd realize that his actions actually affected somebody; I don't think he realizes that. Man, if he were to ever read this blog, it'd be an honor. He be forced to look at himself. No, I lie. He could very well stop reading whenever he wanted to. But you know, maybe we haven't talked because God hasn't shown me what the topic is supposed to be. I want to tell this kid about himself and I have my way of doing it; listing things off that might not make him a better person but will just make him feel like crap. I highly doubt that is God's intention. I still have a lot of things I need to let go of. Like, I don't care about him in the same way I used to and it's caused me to be quite insensitive towards him. I make a lot of snippy comments and give him the "Ryan treatment" (lol) and it's not cool. It sucks that I have to feel a way about him to treat him with kindness. It should be "I am a Christian; God told be to be kind so I am going to be kind." I want to act despite my feelings. Lord, do it!
So who knows where we'll end up? All I know is that I've got this one puzzle piece of a million piece puzzle; God's got the boxtop with the whole picture. He knows what He's doing.
Do Your thing God, do Your thing.
~Nelly
And Jeremy, if you are reading this right now, I want you to know that I genuinely do not hate you. My experiences with you have taught me a lot about myself and have caused me to draw closer to God. Thanks. And though I have said all of these things, I still love you as a fellow brother in Christ. Much love dude.
~Insignia
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