I Will Exalt You God.

I will exalt Thee

I will exalt Thee

I will exalt Thee

You are my God.

Today is the day Lord. The day I tell this kid what I feel for him. Bleck, lol. The tears want to come out of my eyes. Jesus, I don't want to do it. And there is a sadness in me, because I cannot pretend anymore. Spirit, in my brokenness, would You please speak anyway? Lord, I am sorry that I resisted for so long. But in my obedience to You, would You bless me? May I not fear.

Because You're with me

Because You're with me

Because You're with me

I will not fear.

I am still like, why do I really have to do this? But Lord, who am I to question Your plan? You have proven Yourself faithful to me in the past. In that moment when You told me to forgive Jeremy and DeShana, I could not imagine the good that would result from that. I thought that it was something that I was supposed to do for them, that it wasn't fair that I had to stop holding against them what they did. But God, I am the person that I am now because You told me to do that and because I listened! I could not imagine in that moment the change that would happen in me, or the beauty of mending relationships after so much pain resulted from them. And all You did was tell me to do one thing: let go. And even that wasn't something that I had to do on my own. You were with me through it all. Through it ALL.

So Lord, I pray that even in this situation, I would trust You and obey You. I pray that even though I have fear, I would do what You have called me to do, even with that fear. May I understand what fear really is; a shadow that can do no harm. The shadow that makes it look like there's a monster, when really there is just a cricket. Praise Yahweh. I thank You for calling me to be strong and courageous and that You promise to be with me wherever I go. May I be so aware of Your presence with me. Always, not just in this situation. In all things, not just with this talk.

I will exalt You

You are my God.

I love You Jesus. And I pray that I would love You through obedience. I pray that You would begin to change my heart for G. That I would love Him deeply with Christ's love and that my feelings would soon fall away. I pray for a contentment and thorough satisfaction in the greatest love story ever told, the greatest love ever known. I have no idea what Your plans are with this conversation, I only hope that I am not too late in carrying out what You have called me to do.

I pray for peace and boldness. I pray for an awareness of the victory. I pray that I will be ever-aware of who I am in Christ-- what can man do to a daughter of God? What man can tamper and taint the person I am in Jesus the Lord? In His Name, I can do all things. In the character and person of God, I CAN DO ALL THINGS. Etch that into my heart Lord.

Be with me as I go Lord. Be with me in the pain and the hurt and the tears. In the past, I have experienced such joy in the morning, such peace after the storm. I look forward to Your blessing of peace and thank You for it. Thank You for loving me Lord, may I be ever aware of Your deep, wide, high, long Love for me x).

My hiding place

My safe refuge

My treasure Lord

You Are.

b-o-r-e-d

Currently Listening to Stellar Kart's Newest Album "Everything is Different Now"

I am so bored. I got to Binghamton yesterday at around 2 pm and there was hardly anybody on my floor. It was really weird coming back to life at Bing. after being at home for 5 weeks. Stephen said that after the summer it's even weirder; I can imagine.

So because I am so bored, I decided to blog (lol, when all attempts to occupy self fail, you can always rely on YouTube and blogging. But blogging more so). Hmmmm, what's been on my mind lately? Oh, I am super bummed that Stephen is not at Bing this semester. Total downer. I've also been really contemplating how much I want to grow as a Christian this year. I want to be bolder and have greater discernment. I want to be more in tune with the Holy Spirit so that I'll be more sensitive to what He's saying to me or telling me to do. More sync, less confusion/questions about what God wants me to do. I also very much want to have a greater faith and trust in God. I hung out with Roschelle this past Wednesday and she said that if she can trust God with the destination of her soul and believes that He is the Great Everything, if God tells her to tell a man that God loves Him she should be able to trust God on that level as well. And that is so true. I sing all the time that I trust in You and this year I realized that I really don't. 'Cause if I did, there would not be so much hesitation to do the things You tell me to do Lord. Please increase my faith and make me ever sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah.

Ugh, joy killed. I have to call Pastor, for my mother says so -____-
God, help me in this phone conversation with Pastor. Help me to be humble. Guide the words that come out of my mouth, 'cause I have no idea what I am going to say. And please help me not to harbor so much resentment against him. That is not Christ-like at all.

Oh sigh.
Jesus please help me.

So that is the important stuff running through my mind at the moment. Classes start Monday, and I am ready to kick butt! But until then, I shall... figure out things to do.

Toodles.

-Salmon Out

Boy troubles... what's new?

So, I did all my homework from like, 12-2:30 this morning so that I could spend more time with God in the Chapel 2nd period, but I forgot that confession is going on all this week! So, I'm going to blog instead.

Jesus, I spoke to You yesterday and it felt so good being able to empty myself to you. I haven't done that in weeks! And talking to You and expressing myself to You most definitely makes a difference. I thank You for the privilege. Anyway, although I spoke to You about this same issue yesterday, I've got to go to You about it again today God, because I am so weak -_-.

I can't stop liking this guy! >.<

And it's annoying the heck out of me! I wish I could just stop liking guys. Or at least stop liking guys who are temporarily or permanently* off the market. It's just a pain! But it's also the thorn in my side that is causing me to remain ever-dependent on You. In this stage of my life anyway. And you know, though a thorn is a thorn, I very well could have a whole porcupine stuck in my side. (lol! Christian analogies are the best xD). Like, it's better that I have this issue than a worse one. This is still hard, but it could very well be worse. But this is still hard.

And you know, the other day, You revealed the Godly way of looking at it. There are people in other countries who would love to think about a person they like or who would love to pursue someone. But they can't because they have to worry about what they'll have to eat, a disease they have or might easily catch, or if they'll even live to see tomorrow. They'd much rather have my issues. I am truly blessed.

So God, help me to hold on to You! And take courage in and strength from You! And I guarantee I'm gonna come back to You tomorrow crying about the same thing. But I thank You that You are there to listen whenever I need You. WHENEVER I need You! You are absolutely amazing. And people say You do not exist because You cannot be seen or because you cannot be proved by science or that Man is cool beans, not God. But how much greater is it to have an invisible God who is there 25/8, whenever you need a friend, whenever you need help, guaranteed, even when you wake up from a nightmare, than a physical, visible, tangible God who would only be available some of the time? Whose attention would be divided among the 6 billion people in this world? With God, we don't have to wait on line, or sign our names on a waiting list. He is available all day, everyday, for the rest of our lives...HALLELUJAH! Praise God! A-men! Thank You God that I am a Christian.

*permanently off the market means a guy is either:
Married
Dating a friend
Has dated a friend

Much love everybody!
~ Nelly Asakura