Ugh, I hate feeling this way. So conflicted!
So this week is the first week of classes. Yesterday I had Sociology 100B and Psych 112 (Psych Lab). They weren't bad. At 8:30 this morning, I had Psych 243 which is Psych Stats. They were not bad at all, I actually really like my classes. Except for Intro to Asian Philosophy. My God is that class spiritually upsetting! I sit in this class and I am hearing the views of these other philosophers, things like "God is the deepest part of the self... God is who you, and everybody else, really are."
WHAT???!!!
It is spiritually repulsive. I do not like sitting in that class at all. And then I see the people in my class, listening intently and possessing faces of interest. At what level of interest, I suppose they vary. Some looking for a philosophy to follow, some adamant about their own beliefs (me), others just wanting to learn about Asian philosophy, and others just wanting to learn about their culture/own philosophical beliefs in this course. Ah boy, I do not know if I can take this class. So many questions arise such as "Is there merit to what they believe? These are philosophies that existed before Jesus even came to Earth. How can there be blame that they came up with these thoughts of God when there was no knowledge of the Hebrew God presented to them?" Or "Am I a Christian just because Christianity is all that was presented before me in my life?" I do not want to follow Christ because He is all I know or because other people follow Him. That is not at all a basis to do anything. There is no thinking for the self in that situation. But then, just because Christianity is the only way of life that I have been exposed to does not mean that it is not the truth. That is a silly notion. But I bring this latter question up because I just want to be rooted in my faith not on the basis that many others believe or because it's all I've known. That is shallow and narrow. I want to fear Jesus Christ because He is the Right Way, because He is the Truth, because there is True Life in Him. I want to fear Jesus because He is the only way to GOD (defined as the Creator of the Universe--- not as an ant -____-). HALLELUJAH. Praise Yahweh! Please help me Lord. Keep me FIRM and STEADFAST in You. Give me boldness and strength. EMPOWER me Holy Spirit! Holy, HOLY Spirit, for that is what You are! HOLY!
Into MARVELOUS LIGHT! I'm running!
Out of Darkness! Out of Shame!
By the CROSS YOU are the TRUTH!
You are the LIFE!
You are the WAY!
Hallelujah to the King of Kings!
Hallelujah to the Lamb!
Hallelujah to the Lord of Lords!
He is the GREAT I AM!!!!!
He is our King!
He is our Love!
He our God Who's come to bring us back to Him!
He is the One!
He is JESUS!
Thank You Lord. I want to praise and worship You all of the days of my life. Root me in YOU oh Lord. And may my declaration of Your Lordship not be shallow, but a true and deep knowing of Your Glory, Sovereignty, and Supremacy. I do not now if I will have future doubts or more deep troublings in my spirit, but I pray that You will comfort and encourage me through it all. Oh no, please never let go, through the calm and through the storm, in every high and low. NEVER let go of me Jesus.
Thank You Lord.
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I know how you feel about having to study other religions and philosophies. I did quite a bit about Islam. But I think to a certain extent there are things that you can learn from other religions (not the whole philosophy, obviously, but some bits make you think about parts of Christianity. For example, there's a huge thing in Islam about submitting to Allah--this was a pretty good reminder to me at the time that I wasn't really surrendering totally to God).
ReplyDeleteI actually find it more difficult now, with people talking about Christianity in my history lectures. They spread such dodgy doctrine at time, it's no wonder so many people get all the wrong ideas about it!
Word! I really don't want to take that class, but I feel like I have to represent Christ in whatever small ways that I can. I wish that we as Christians would represent our Father more and also that people would actually take the time to get to know God. How crazy different would this world be! Then, even despite the dodgy doctrine that is out there, the wrong ideas about God would not prevail.
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