Bleeeehhhhhh! Jesus, I feel so weird. Am I not being obedient to You? Ugh! I pray for PEACE Lord! I pray for discernment and wisdom and boldness. Help me not to fear foolishness but I pray for clarity and an end to this confusion. Ugh.

I do not know if I am supposed to talk to Stephen. I mean, I feel like I am but I do not even know what words to say. And yeah, that's not to be my worry but like, how would I even start the conversation? I do not know what to say! Not even the nature of it. I am totally not down with this so whatever God wants him to know, I don't know, 'cause I don't want to say ANYTHING. I am in such a state of confusion and doubt. But is this self-inflicted because I do not know how things will turn out? Am I blinding myself? Every Christian I have spoken to has said that I should talk to him. Not only that, but I got that sense from the Holy Spirit? when I was on the picnic table behind Digman one night during finals week. Jesus, CLARITY please!

But then, can I even ask for clarity? If God has been clear already, why am I asking for more clearness? I AM RUNNING AWAY!!!!!! T___T